Unmasking Winter
by whackabee1
Summary: Modern A/U, Elsa has her ice powers. As per my usual MO, her father is manipulative, and she looks to Anna for support. But that changes when Anna finds interest in someone else. How will Elsa deal with this? Will she learn to control her powers? We will see :) Incest, but NO smut.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, it's been a while since I uploaded any content. Chapters for this one will likely all be about this length, as it's easier for me to keep up with. I have roughly the first 30 pages written already. I will be aiming for uploads on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

All that done, I very much hope you enjoy :)

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Chapter 1

Anna's glass crackled and bustled amiably as the water within cooled unnaturally fast. Her giggles and merriment were the only kind of music that Elsa ever wanted to hear. It felt warm and infectious, like it was moving around inside of Elsa, and it tickled. So much so that she found herself loosely grinning with a childish chuckle as well. She stared back, taking in the happy girl across from her. Auburn hair with a green dress, peppered freckles with blue- almost green- eyes grinning in wonderment. Marveling at something that was so simple for Elsa, something that was just _her._ Well, part of her, anyway. Something that, at times like these, felt like a gift.

"Elsa," A gruff, stern, and not entirely pleasant voice interrupted. "What did I tell you about doing _that_?"

Elsa's shoulders shrank as she slouched farther into her chair. The smaller she was, the less area the words would have to hit her.

"Dad," Anna defended, "she was just cooling off my water, it was warm." The younger's voice was still filled with the remnants of her joyfulness. But Elsa's mind was not.

"Anna, sweetheart," the man sighed softly, "it's not normal. The more she does it, the more normal it'll feel, and the less normal she'll become."

Already painfully aware that the very thing she'd thought of as a gift seconds ago necessarily made her a child that was anything but normal, Elsa said nothing. She laced her fingers together around the tip of her braid, which hung loosely near her lap. Conversations with her father reminded Elsa of being hit by a wave in the ocean, only to regain yourself, open your eyes, and be pummeled down by yet another surge of water.

"She's the most ordinary-est person ever," Anna stated, triumphantly taking a bite of her meal and looking directly at her sister.

It was maybe the strangest compliment that Elsa had ever received, but in that moment it sure didn't feel like it. She tried to meet the warm eyes with her own smile, but the corners of her mouth barely twitched before falling into a frown. _I am_ not _normal,_ she reminded herself.

"She's not normal," her dad said, as if approving of her self-loathing.

Anna was no longer taking the conversation lightly. Her face firmed up, and a rare but serious tone overtook her usually effervescent demeanor. "No one's normal, dad. And there's nothing wrong with being a little different." Her eyes flickered to Elsa as she said this.

"No one has Elsa's _condition_. It's more than a little different."

"You mean her gift," the young redhead emphasized.

"No, Anna, I do not." His voice was clear and final, signalling the end of the discussion.

Elsa weakly looked up at her sister in a sort of silent thank you, which Anna seemed to readily understand. Her response was an almost invisible smirk, followed by a loud slurp of her water. "Ah," she hyperbolically sighed with a grin, "nice and cold."

Elsa smiled. The rest of dinner passed without conversation.

* * *

A blank computer screen peered back at Elsa's blank stare. She wasn't doing anything in particular on the computer; in fact, she had no idea what web page was even open. Overthinking was like a snowball on a hill. Once it started, it grew, and when it grew, it got harder to stop, going and growing faster and faster.

And right now, Elsa's mind had uncompromising momentum. Thinking about dinner, what her father said; thinking about her powers and herself. Thinking about her regrets and mistakes, how those are related to her curse. Thinking about Anna. Anna, who defended her. Anna, who was always so mesmerized by Elsa's ice. Anna, who was fast asleep right now, just like Elsa _should_ be.

Anna, who seemed to be _everything_ that Elsa should be. Pale lips sighed. It was the first noise she'd made in almost fifteen minutes. But, Elsa reminded herself, she was not asleep. She was not Anna.

She was different, and nothing could ever change that.

Shutting her laptop, the blonde rolled onto her bed. Maybe, if her thoughts were kind that night, she could get some decent rest. But the dark ceiling above her seemed to invoke as much thought as her empty computer screen.

With an active mind and tired body, Elsa laid still until she couldn't take it, at which point she rolled over and tried again. The more she thought, the more isolated it made her feel. Being alone was hard, and Elsa was the _only_ person on the entire Earth with her abilities.

Anna made that loneliness vanish. But Anna wasn't there that night. Anna wasn't there _any_ night. Not since they were kids, not since they got their own rooms. Anna was just like the sun: absent at night, but sure to rise and light Elsa's day each morning. Now, every night, Anna would disappear to her own room and fall right to sleep, leaving Elsa _alone._

Elsa's mouth pooled with jealousy. Anna could _sleep._

The temperature of her room didn't even register for Elsa until she noticed how thick and visible her breath had become. Her eyes widened. She wished she could at least tell when that was happening! Her heart racing, Elsa tried to stifle her chill. It didn't work, however. It seemed to cool off the room _more_ , scaring her and becoming a self-feeding cycle in and of itself.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when a hard knock intruded on her.

"Elsa," her father's voice called.

"C-coming," she stammered as she clumsily climbed off of her bed.

She opened her door despite the pit in her stomach and was face to face with her father. He was several inches taller than her, and did not have her eyes. His were brown, but in the dark they were black. "Yes?" She weakly asked.

"Warm the house back up, we're trying to sleep."

"I-I can't just-"

"Speak for yourself," a drawled out, yawning voice stated with all the rigour of a sleeping guard. Elsa's wide eyes traced Anna, who was wrapped in more than one blanket, just exiting her room down the hall. "I'm just up to get a snack." She kept her tired and calm eyes on Elsa as she approached and stood by their father.

He looked at her. "Is that so?"

"Oh yeah," she yawned, "I like the cold." Her breath was visible, too, but her words were anything but cold.

Elsa felt that warm Anna-tingle in her chest, and she wondered if the house warmed up, too.

"Well I can't sleep in a freezer," he said to his eldest daughter.

"Here, have some of my blankets." Freckled arms held out the covers that were once draped over their owner's body.

"Anna, this is serious."

"I am serious," she replied in a matter-of-fact tone that only she could make sound cheeky. "You can have them, I have loads."

Their father sighed in exasperation. "I'm too tired for this. Elsa, warm it up, I need sleep."

"I'll try." _Wow_ Elsa's voice was pathetic.

He nodded lumbered off. "Goodnight, Anna."

Anna glanced between her two family members with a frown. "Night dad." The sisters made eye contact. "I don't like when he does that," she whispered.

Elsa wasn't sure which 'that' Anna was referring to. After all, there were several things that their dad had just done that the elder had unsavory feelings for. So she just shook her head. "Me neither."

Such soft eyes, assessing Elsa in the dark, laced with concern. Anna's lips were pursed, and her eyebrows drawn together slightly. A spark flickered in the older's chest. She felt safe underneath the look Anna was giving her. Like she belonged there. And then, slender arms found their way around Elsa's back. Anna's body pressed against hers. She was so _warm._ Like a ray of the morning sun sizzling on her chest.

Elsa's heart was beating fast as she melted into the hug and rested her head on Anna's shoulder. There was no sound, save for the silence of the night. Anna smelled faintly of vanilla, and her body, though lithe, felt soft. Blankets now encircled both girls and the pleasant press of Anna's cordial bosom connected with Elsa's heart. She felt giddy butterflies in her stomach. Her mind was soothed while her heart was enamored.

Anna pulled back to meet Elsa's eyes, leaving a chilly space between them. Elsa, however, still felt cozy and warm from the hug.

"Good night, sis."

Her face was _so close._ Anna's arms remained around her sister, their bodies just separate enough to speak. Elsa was entranced by such deep eyes. They were _right there._

"Love you," was the last thing that Anna said before she turned and sauntered tiredly off to bed.

"Good night, Anna, I l-love you too." Elsa's words were possibly a hair too late, as her brain was still playing catch-up after their embrace. Having spoken to an empty doorway, Elsa decided that sleep would find her that night. What a wonderful affect Anna had on her.

The house was no longer cold.

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A/N: Sooo what do ya think? :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you kindly for the follows and reviews, it means a lot!

Welcome back, enjoy chapter 2 :)

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"Elsaaa!"

Groggy blue eyes bolted open, vision blurred and light making them throb. That sound was entirely too close to her ear. Not that it was unwelcome, just rather startling. Fighting the sleep away, Elsa turned in her bed. "Anna, what time is it?" She noticed her door still wide open in the background. Her sister was crouched right next to her bed such that they were face to face.

"That's not important, what _is_ important is that we should watch a movie today!" She pointed her finger at the ceiling to punctuate herself.

Elsa playfully rolled her eyes and checked the time on her phone. It wasn't too early. "What movie do you want to see?"

Anna had her answer coiled and ready for attack. It was a brand new movie.

A jolt of cold flushed down the elder's chest, followed by some kind of wiggling fuzz. She placidly smiled, sitting up now. Her blanket slid off, leaving her in just her sky blue, light sleeping gown. "I'd love to." A date. No no, wait, just quality time with her sister. A sister date? That wasn't a thing, was it? It was now.

"Great! It starts in two hours, get ready."

Elsa's eyes widened. She hardly noticed Anna leave as she hurriedly began to get ready. Teeth? Check. Shower? Check. Hair? One very time consuming check. She was just putting the finishing touches on her platinum braid when Anna re-appeared. Some summer sandals and a light, breathing dress that came down just passed mid-thigh. Freckles draped along Anna's smooth, tan legs. Well, they were at least tan in comparison to Elsa's porcelain-colored legs. Anna could at least get somewhat of a tan, as light as it was. Elsa, on the other hand, never seemed to tan, or burn, no matter how much she was in the sun. She wondered if that had something to do with her capabilities. It must, right?

Her sister's strawberry hair has pulled into two, neat twin braids. A few strands that stood out winded their way through, sporting the exact same color as Elsa's own hair.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Elsa grinned. "Lead the way."

Anna nodded with her lips perched happily. She grabbed her elder's hand and lead merrily along. Her palms were warm, in stark contrast to Elsa's own extremities, but matching rather nicely with how her heart felt. Elsa's feet felt light on the ground. The way Anna moved sort of reminded Elsa of how a bubble dances through water.

The theater was comfortable. The air pleasantly surrounded Elsa's wintry skin. It was quiet, her and Anna were able to get a fairly secluded seat. After all, it was only mid-day. A titanic popcorn bucket sat on her lap, filling the air with a crisp, buttery smell, which blithely snaked its way into Elsa's nose. She breathed it in deeply. Cozy as can be.

"Brrr, it's freezing in here!" Anna had her arms hugging around herself, fighting tooth and nail against the chilly air.

Elsa chuckled. "I can make it colder if you like," she teased, holding up her hand. Joking about her… uniqueness always made her feel a little odd. Like there was something in her stomach that just wouldn't sit still. But with Anna, that was something she could look past. Did she accidentally make the place cooler when she said that?

Anna's face expanded to a gaping mouth and eyes. She sat straight, locking on to Elsa like a missile. "Don't you even dare, don't you even start to _begin_ to dare!" Her voice was feathery yet carried all the precious concern that it needed to.

"I'm going to do it," Elsa challenged.

A much louder laugh from her sister. "Don't. You. Dare!"

"Oh, but I _do_ dare." A pale hand lowered towards its lap, as if it's position would control the air temperature.

Anna's mouth jutted open, then shut, then open. She was stuck between bawling in laughter and complete disbelief. "Why you little! I'll just have to hug you to stay warm!"

She did, suddenly, tightly, and somewhat aggressively. Elsa immediately stopped, mostly because she was caught so off guard. Her mind drew a blank for several seconds, seriously putting a damper on her wittiness. She could feel the powerful, rhythmic presto beat of her heart. "I- you- you're just gonna stay there for the whole movie?"

"Yup," Anna nodded against her sister's shoulder.

"Well," Elsa replied, slowly gaining back her train of thought and motor skills. "I suppose I can keep you warm."

"Good, you'd better," the redhead said, snuggling in a little bit closer. Gingerly, Elsa reached her arm around two freckled shoulders and leaned back in her seat. Her hand hovered for a moment. As if Anna was made of some kind of acid. Well, not like that. Like Anna- like Anna would what? Like she'd not want Elsa's hand on her shoulder? Elsa shook her head as if it'd shake the thoughts away. She gently, testingly rested her hand down. When Anna didn't so much as flinch, she rooted it on the shoulder of a very soft dress. "And I'm keeping you warm." The voice was almost a whisper.

Elsa's heart skipped a beat. "Huh?"

Anna raised her head just enough to meet the icy blue eyes above her. In the dark, it was impossible to tell that she had so many freckles, or that her eyes were such a fascinating mix of blue and green. "Every time I hug you, you get warm. Not that that's a bad thing! It's a good thing. Like your skin, it's always so cold when I first touch it, but then it's like a layer of ice melting away. Then, you're like a heater!"

Elsa's heart was pounding _hard._ She wasn't actually sure if she could hear anymore. Her jaw was slack, hanging dumbly. She didn't know what to say. She'd forgotten how to speak, anyway. Was her temperature changing against Anna right now? The anxious pit in her stomach, did that make her so cold? Or the butterflies flying in her gut, did those warm her up? Those peaceful, loving, fuzzy creatures that seemed so prevalent when Anna was around.

Met with silence, Anna simply rested her head back down, right on Elsa's bosom. "I always just took it as proof that you love me," Anna stated matter-of-factly.

"I- I do" was all the older sibling could manage. She was painfully aware of where a certain freckled cheek was perched: _barely_ not on her breast. Stiff, she pretended to relax. The room was no longer nice and cold. It was actually quite hot now.

She felt Anna smile.

* * *

"Phew, I'm hungry!"

"How?" Elsa raised her eyebrow. "You _just_ ate a giant thing of popcorn." The sun seared her eyes as they exited the theater.

"I can't _just_ eat popcorn, I need something like actual real food, too," Anna insisted.

She had a good point, popcorn wasn't a meal by any stretch. "Your stomach is like a bottomless pit, you know. But I'm quite hungry, too. Where do you want to eat?"

"Let's get ice cream!" Anna chirped cheerfully.

Elsa stopped dead in her tracks, finding her words. "Ice cream isn't a meal either, Anna."

"Yes, _but_ it _is_ delicious."

"You're ridiculous," Elsa laughed with a happy roll of her eyes.

"You're ridiculous-er because you're gonna listen to my ridiculousness." This was said

with an all-to-proud expression. Cocked eyebrow, crossed arms, and everything.

Did the air around her change when Elsa's cheeks turned pink as a rose petal like that? If it did, Anna didn't seem to notice. "How could I ever argue with logic like that?"

"I don't know," Anna said as she placed herself in the passenger's seat. "I'm the logical-est. That's a word, right? If not, it is now."

Elsa just giggled. Logic-shmogic. She was going to obey Anna no matter what, she was powerless not to. Not that that was a bad thing, though it did sometimes end in one or both of them getting injured or in trouble. Neither of these were a possible outcome here. A tummy ache was manageable. At least, that's how the elder justified their unjustified choice for lunch.

* * *

Over ice cream, Anna was quiet for most of the meal. Odd, but it was uncharacteristic of Elsa to break the surface of such a silent pool of discussion. So, she licked at her melting cup of vanilla ice cream.

It's not that Anna wasn't talking at all, but her comments were brief. Her conversation wasn't filling the air over the soft music playing at the store. Plus, she'd barely touched her dessert. Or dinner. Or both? Dinsert? _That_ was weird. Liquid ice cream dripped down the sides of the younger's strawberry dinsert, pooling at the bottom of her cup. A quiet Anna was often an eating Anna, but a quiet Anna that was not eating was a thinking Anna. Elsa wanted to know what Anna was thinking.

Her heart felt low as she tried to pipe up. There was something catching her words in her throat, but she managed to squeeze them by, with some effort. "Anna?"

"That's me." She threw out a meek, unconfident response, matched with an equally unsure smirk. Like she was _trying_ to commit to her little quip, but couldn't. Now _that_ was bizarre. Anna didn't get _nervous._

"Are you- is anything on your mind?" Elsa's hands raised off of the table a little, as if it'd offset the almost certainly lowering temperature.

"Yeah I'm- there is- I'll tell you, but first could- can you fix that?" She pointed to her ever-liquifying bowl of ice cream.

Perplexed, Elsa nodded. She focused on the ice cream. This would have been a no-brainer under normal circumstances, but her mind was still trying to work out her sister's head. She raised her fingertips, opening her hands and aiming at Anna's dinsert. But it was hard with her mind hopping tracks. Sure, she made the ice cream refreeze, but she also noticed Anna's now visible breath. Elsa sighed. Shakily, she said "o-okay that's the best I can do."

A satisfied smile crept to Anna's mouth nonetheless, and seemed to breathe confidence into her. She sat a little straighter. "You- we- me and you- should practice!"

Elsa raised an eyebrow for the second time that day. "Practice what?"

"That!" Anna jabbed her finger at the now frozen solid dairy. "Your gift! So you can- so you can control it better, to use it even better, so you're confident with it!"

Elsa's heart stopped. Like dead stop. Like straight into a brick wall stopped. If her brain was a computer, its circuitry would have shorted. The only reaction she was able to give was the subconscious, rapid blinking of her eyes. Was it really that crazy of a suggestion? Or that unexpected? Or both? Elsa didn't know, and her heart sure didn't want to come out of her stomach. She looked briefly at the white streak in Anna's hair. Dread rose like cold water in the pit of her being. It felt like her stomach was digesting itself. She averted her gaze.

Eventually, a word swirled into her mind. "No."

"Great! We can start little, like maybe just- wait, what?" Now it was _her_ turn to be rendered speechless. The marked drop in Anna's shoulders, the lamenting slouch in her back, and the crestfallen confusion in her eyes made Elsa feel _physically_ sick.

"I- I said no, Anna." Elsa was a little disappointed in her voice. It's wild vacillation made it sound as un-confident as she actually was.

Anna picked up on that. She leaned in, her voice becoming a little shrill. "Why not?"

"Because I- I can't."

"Sure you can, you can control it sometimes," Anna pointed at her ice cream. "So you can get better at it, if we focus."

"I can't, Anna, I just- I just can't." Elsa's breath evaded her.

"Yes, you can, Elsa!"

"I don't _want_ to." Elsa hunched into a defensive position.

"Why not?" Anna took her elder's change in posture as an opportunity to square up, controlling the field.

"Because," Elsa forced her mind not to run to the past. She closed her eyes, which now felt a little hot. "Because I- because I-"

"Because _why_?" Prying, confused, curious. Those were the three sounds in Anna's voice.

She wanted to, desperately, but she couldn't tell her. Or did she? Elsa couldn't even read the mess of feelings pitting her stomach like a cherry. She _wanted_ to tell Anna, but she _couldn't._ So, she haggled with herself. Vagueness, a welcome compromise. "Because I'm scared!"

Anna's response came fast, like she expected that. Her voice was softer now, intimate almost, and she leaned in and grabbed Elsa's frigid hands. Her breath billowed like clouds out of her mouth when she spoke. "I know you are. But," then a longer pause, "but the more we practice, and the more you learn about it, the less scared you'll be. I promise."

That was perhaps the most genuine thing Anna had ever said. Her promise. Her eyes looked so deeply into Elsa, so purposefully, but not analytically. She wasn't trying to see _why_ Elsa was scared, she was simply _being_ there for Elsa.

Love. That's what Anna was looking at her with. It felt safe, it felt comforting like _home_ should feel. Elsa took a deep, long, wavering breath. "Okay, but what about-"

"Dad will never have to know."

Elsa nodded and gulped. Her heart was feeling lighter.

"We can practice in your room when he's not home. There's no way I'll ever let him find out." Anna's confidence and care made her words more than a promise. It made them a fact. That was one problem taken care of.

"I don't know," she mumbled.

"Please, Elsa." Her breath billowed.

"Anna, I-"

"It'll be fun," her voice was louder, more chipper now. "Just you and I, working together."

Elsa's ears perked up. When Anna put it that way… "okay." She wondered how long it'd be before she regretted saying that.

"Great!" Mellifluous and overjoyed. "We can start tonight!"

 _WHAT!?_

* * *

A/N: The first lessons in chapter 3, you ask? Why yes, yes indeed. I hope you've liked it so far, I'll see you back soon :D

Comments?


	3. Chapter 3

It was late, the house was asleep. A third of the house was, at least. Elsa sat anxiously trying to squeeze some thoughts onto virtual paper to no avail. Her mind was too focused on not freezing the house, as she did not want another late night run-in with her father, as so often happens. It wasn't her fault! She couldn't control it! Her curse was part of her emotions, right? And Elsa couldn't control those either. She tried to be mindful, but to no avail. Her feelings all to often played her like a fiddle, like a puppet. Like a very cold puppet.

Like right now. How she sat struggling with her nerves about her first lesson with Anna. Where would they even start? There's no way this would work. It'd be a waste of time, and Anna would get annoyed with her. Elsa was sure of it. Even the kindest treats in the world have their limits, and she was scared her ineptitude to control the cold spreading like a wildfire from within her would push Anna's limits.

Elsa told herself she was being stupid, that her dear sister would never, ever give up on her, but her mind wasn't buying it. Her struggle went on for quite a while, until her door opened a few minutes later.

She turned and felt soothed. Except for her stomach, that is. There were still butterflies humming about.

"Are you ready?" Anna wore a long sleeve shirt and muted, green pajama pants. They were fairly thick. Elsa questioned whether or not that was because of her coldness. It may have been a fledgling Fall, but it was still warm out. Here eyes lingered on her sister for a few more seconds before she realized she had to respond.

"Yes," she muttered, not really knowing what she was saying.

"Great!" Anna looked giddy, doing a little happy jump in place and everything. She sat on the bed and looked expectantly at her elder, who was still at her desk. "Well…" she lead.

"Well what?" Elsa asked, snapping out of her daze.

"Well come on!" Three dull smacks sounded as Anna patted the spot next to her.

Feeling a little silly, and her face actually running hot, not cold, Elsa got up and made her way to sit next to Anna. Not once did her icy blue eyes leave the ground. "Oh, right."

They sat in silence for far too long. Anna wore an almost puerile grin, like she was _gloating_ about knowing something that Elsa did not. During each ounce of that silence, being ringed out like a wet rag for every last drop of enduring tension, an anxious mind plagued its owner with progressively worse scenarios: inability to perform any tricks for Anna, their father barking at the door to demand a warm house, or complete _loss_ of control of the ice within her. A permanent reminder in Anna's hair stood just before Elsa's eyes. She was simply _not_ going to be the first to make a move. She was frozen, figuratively, and possibly literally. She couldn't tell.

"Relax," Anna traced her sister's gaze, and slid her finger along her silver streak of hair with her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Huh!?" Elsa hastily averted her gaze. A warm hand clamped her shoulder. She laxed, enjoying the reinforcement of her sister's caring touch.

"We're not gonna start any- well any you know- any _actual_ things today-"

Like dropping a backpack full of heavy, useless textbooks. That's how Elsa felt in that moment. The ease in stress seemed to undo layers of frayed knots within her stomach, and chip away at her chilly interior. She couldn't help but to cock an eyebrow at her sister.

"I decided- well I thought- maybe it'd be best to not do that yet- like maybe just- just talk about it for a little bit."

"Talk about it?" Did Elsa sound dense just repeating her sister like that? She didn't particularly care.

"Yeah, like just kinda ask you some questions and stuff for me to try to understand it better."

"Oh." She hadn't realized how tense every muscle in her body was until they all simultaneously loosened. A grin slid on to her features. "That sounds like a great idea." Silence rang like an airhorn. Anna's breath wasn't visible. That was good, _father_ wouldn't scold them that night. "So um, w-what did you want to ask first?"

Anna bit her lip and squinted in thought. That was adorable. She turned in her spot to better face her elder. Their knees touched. The fleece of her green nightwear felt soft and forgiving against Elsa's bare leg. Elsa herself wore comfortable blue shorts and a plain, white shirt. "I hadn't really gotten that far," she finally admitted.

"Well, whatever questions you can think of, I'll do my best to answer." In contrast to her normally frigid pith, Elsa felt a fire crackling within, warming her heart and spreading tingling comfort to her arms, legs, hands, and cheeks. Without fail, Anna never wanted anything but to help and understand her sister, and just _knowing_ that made Elsa grin and blush like an awestruck fool.

"I suppose, then, that, well, we start with…" Anna's voice held an unusually tense tenor. "How does it _feel_?"

"Um… Cold, I guess."

Anna rolled her eyes _significantly._ "Well, I know _that,_ Elsa, it's _ice_! Cold, who'd have thought, ice is _cold_!" Her voice was sarcastic now.

Holding back a giggle, the elder listened.

"I mean like, does it feel like anything other than cold? I know it's harder to control when you're nervous, so does it feel like an emotion? Does it hurt?" Anna paused, thinking with her pointer finger on her chin. "Does it feel _good_?"

Elsa mulled over this for a long time. That was a more complicated question than Anna could ever know. "Well," she started, like she was taking an unsure step onto possibly thin ice, "it feels like…" She paused again, looking into the top of her head. "Like nothing really, I guess, other than cold."

Anna was not impressed, but listened.

"It's more like it makes me feel other emotions. Like fear. When I feel it, it scares me, and I get nervous- and it grows, which makes me more frightened. When I really start to panic is when I feel like it's totally out of my control, when no matter how hard I focus on making the cold go away, it just grows- like it's _trying_ to scare me." Elsa was looking down now, as she exposed her heart to her sister. Her thumbs fiddled together. "It's like I'm falling, like I'm losing control of everything around me and no matter what I do, I can't fix it."

She looked up into analytical, teal eyes that were narrowed in intense focus. Anna was chewing her lip again.

Yet Elsa felt safe.

"So the fear makes your powers grow?"

"Yeah," Elsa admitted. "The more scared I get, the colder I get."

"It's a vicious cycle." Anna peered with rich solicitude.

"Yeah," Elsa meekly surrendered, her voice cracking. She slumped.

Gently and warmly, the younger put her hand on her elder's knee, leaning even closer. Just fractions of a second were enough for Elsa's heart to skip. "But when I hold you, it goes away, we both know that already." There was a certain chipperness to the statement.

Elsa blushed deeply and nodded. Where was Anna going with this? Elsa's heart dropped like lead into her stomach. Breathing became difficult. Her shoulders were now being squared off and squeezed by Anna's hands. Elsa winced in pain.

"That means that together we can control it! Which means _you_ can control it! We just have to figure out how to make you feel, well, how you feel when I do _this_!" The subsequent bear hug squeezed the pit right out of Elsa's stomach, leaving only room for those cozy little butterflies once her mind had time to catch up. Like the icy cold within her, she melted into the snug embrace, albeit with her heart still pounding like a hammer in her chest.

Face still on fire, but with an instant of boldness, Elsa whispered "you'll just have to hug me all the time." It was impressive, really, how fast she regretted blurting that out. Elsa pursed her lips tight to keep the rest of her thoughts inside.

"Elsa," Anna said, pushing her back, and holding her at each shoulder. They were not a full arm's length apart. In fact, their foreheads were nearly touching. Looking sharply within, she spoke with a thoroughgoing tone. "I will _always_ hold you, hug you, comfort you, do anything and everything in my power to help you when I'm here. But whenever I'm not and you get scared, or feel out of control, just think about me." She smiled radiantly. "Because I'll be thinking about you."

That singular statement carried Elsa with dance of merriment into the clouds, bathing her in the sunshine's bright, clement glow. She effortlessly floated through school the next day as thoughts and musings of her dear Anna lingered ebulliently in her mind.

Needless to say, she felt closer to Anna than before, and that feeling gave her a euphoric high that could scarcely be matched. She felt the bond between her and Anna continue to grow and strengthen in the next couple weeks, which worked to fortify her confidence, and the smile that resided more frequently on her lips.

The next few "lessons" consisted of Anna bringing in several cups of water, and instructing Elsa to freeze them. No matter how many times they did the same, simple thing, teal eyes always filled with that jubilant glee, like what Elsa was doing was simply _magic._ Well, it very well may have been, for all she knew.

She didn't care.

She just wanted to see that dumbfounded, awestruck, captivated look on her sister's face. And every time Elsa was struggling to freeze the water, Anna readily gave her a tight, long-lasting, and loving hug. More than once, Elsa pretended to be having difficulties with her task to earn such a prize.

"I- I can't do it," She would say.

Anna would roll her eyes lightly and swoop in for the hug.

Elsa would smirk, and not so promptly freeze the cup. She wondered if Anna saw through her white lies.

Yes, life for Elsa was becoming _too_ good to be true.

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A/N: hmm so you know that "Angst" word in the genre? See you in chapter 4 ;)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I just want to say thank you for the reviews, follows, and for reading this so far. Especially you who review each chapter ;) Thank you :)

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That morning started like any other, boring old weekday morning. Elsa got up, got ready, and painstakingly worked her hair into her favorite look: a fluffy French braid. Well, her favorite look for _herself_ , at least. She loved anything Anna did with her hair, but was particularly enamored when greeted with the site of perfect, strawberry blonde twin braids. She didn't know what it was, but there was just _something_ about Anna that let her pull off such a rare style.

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear apparently applied to angels as well, because just then the subject of Elsa's thoughts skipped right into her room. She did not have her hair in pigtails, leaving up in a tidy, braided bun. She wore simple blue jeans and a snug hoodie.

"Good morning, Anna," their father's typically brusque voice commanded as they stopped in the kitchen for breakfast.

"Mornin' dad," she practically shrugged back, apparently finding filling her cup with water more interesting.

"Elsa," The atmosphere went thin and cold.

"Y-yes?"

"Remember, be careful. We wouldn't want any accidents today." His eyes flickered almost imperceptibly to Anna, rapidly refocusing their reign over Elsa.

It was by now an archaic demand for Elsa, yet it still felt freshly vicious every single day. In turn, her eyes lingered on her sister. The silver streak was tucked away, streaming through Anna's bun as if to accent it. That familiar, hungry, and angry pit dug into Elsa's stomach. She felt light-headed.

Pink lips gnawed by pearly whites only took an ephemeral pause while teal eyes glanced fleetly between two kin. "You really should give Elsa more credit, she'll be fine, dad." She winked at her elder, swirling the water in her glass.

Their father gave Elsa a look that did _not_ give her more credit. Yet Anna's tiny reminder was enough to bolster a frightened girl. She managed to keep the room from getting any colder. Elsa knew that the conversation was now a stalemate. Anna had unknowingly put their father in check after he'd done the same to Elsa. He didn't dare bring up the past, and Elsa _certainly_ didn't.

And Anna didn't know what she didn't know.

He nodded a vapid nod. "Have a good day at school, Anna."

"And?" She replied.

After some hesitation, he forfeit "you too, Elsa."

"You know you don't have to make him be nice to me," the elder mumbled once they'd left the house.

"I know," Anna cheerfully replied. "And he doesn't have to be scared of you."

Dried leaves crunched vociferously as the platinum blonde stopped dead in her tracks. For a moment, she just stared at her sister, who was occupied by chasing down only the crunchiest looking of leaves and stomping on them. Their uncarved pumpkins caught just a nick from her boot as she danced around mashing browned foliage. It was early enough that birds still sang, but the street was mostly quiet. "Scared of me?"

"Yep."

"W-why?" Elsa asked, even though she very well knew the answer.

"Because," Anna said buoyantly, marching right up to her sister and entwining their arms. "He doesn't know you like I do." Her face looked… proud. And that look gleamed like the rising sun in Elsa, breaking up the dark clouds that her father had summoned minutes before.

"No one knows me like you do," she gushed to her sister.

Anna's grin was once again intoxicating and infectious as Elsa felt her own visage brighten. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

That warm, fuzzy, floaty feeling bubbled to Elsa's surface and kicked a pep into her step as they made way for the car.

The rest of the morning went by easily. The pair walked into school together, parting only to find their separate classes. Elsa sat in the farthest back corner; her corner. Out of the way, and allowing her the most isolation one could achieve in such a crowded location. Many days, she'd wrestle with her power to ensure warmth and comfort for all, and more importantly, that no one pays her any undue attention. She didn't really know anyone in her class. Except Rapunzel. Rapunzel seemed nice enough, put popular, and without fail glued to the side of her boyfriend, who's name Elsa did not know.

But all that didn't matter as Elsa waded through her morning, taking notes, and periodically allowing her mind to flow adrift and reminisce about what Anna had said that morning. Each time, it warmed her heart and let her beam. The Anna-Effect. That's what Elsa would call it.

In what felt like no time, the lunch bell rang, and Elsa quickly packed her books and was off to the cafeteria. Most of the time, seniors would go off campus for lunch, as they were allowed to, and who wants to stay in the school? Elsa, however, had no interest in this, not as long as she had her lunch plans with her sister. Then again, Anna would assuredly enjoy that, even if she'd have to be snuck off campus. Actually, that'd make it more exciting for the rascal. She'd gladly lock herself in the trunk for this cause. Elsa giggled. Maybe she'd have to offer this option someday soon.

"Elsa!" As melodious and recognizable as ever.

The two greeted and proceeded with their hunt for a table in the cafeteria. After a few minutes, they'd found an empty place to sit and made themselves comfortable. Anna sat across from Elsa, animatedly recounting a story about how she'd embarrassed herself in front of the class by tripping on her way in _and_ out of the room that day, while they dug in to lunch.

The story was enhanced by wild hand gestures, imponderable phrases said between mouthfuls of a sandwich, and re-enactments of shrieks that were entirely too loud for being indoors.

All the while, Elsa wore the same loving grin, soaking up every word- and strange sound- ringing in her ears, and chortling at the over-the-top presentation.

"Well, well, that sounds like quite the morning you've had," she laughed.

Anna smirked and nodded in agreement, cheeks slightly flushed, and eyes focusing on nothing, as if that'd let her live her gaffs down. "But enough about me, how's class been through the eyes of Elsa?"

Covering her bemusement with her hand, the elder conveyed her comparatively dull day to Anna. She became acutely aware as she was explaining the subject matter that her classes had gone over that day that her tale was far from entertaining.

If Anna found it mundane, she did a good job of hiding it, as her freckled cheeks were leaned forward, resting on her hands as she paid absolute attention to Elsa. Elsa skipped quickly over most subjects, however lingered for longer on what she'd covered in her writing course. That, after all, was important.

When both sides had finished spinning tales, they lounged more in their respective chairs, each one pulling out a novel to read.

"Hi."

Elsa had only gotten about half a paragraph farther in her book. She looked up, eyebrow cocked in confusion.

Before them stood a girl with long, straight, black hair. She wore black leggings with a white shirt, and an unzipped black hoodie thrown onto her shoulders. She had rich, hazel eyes which were glancing back and forth between Anna and the ground. She fiddled with her hands to ease her own tension, something Elsa understood well.

"Hi," Anna spoke up confidently, though her voice and eyebrows betrayed her own befuddlement.

"H-hi." Elsa's neck seemed to be catching her words with a net.

"I'm Karine," she said, not paying Elsa much mind.

"I'm Anna, and this is my sister, Elsa." Lithe arms gestured across the table.

In turn, the elder smiled politely.

"Nice to meet you, Anna- and Elsa." Karine only glanced from the red head. Her cheeks were coloring hastily, which tilted Elsa the wrong way.

"Nice to meet you too," Anna rebutted in her characteristically unflappable way. She still wore a pair of confused and questioning brows, though her tone of voice would never admit that.

Now simply striving to remain neutral, the elder sibling croaked out a soft "likewise."

"May I join you?"

Anna scooted over to make room. "Yes, of course. I mean, I'd expect nothing less from someone who we're now on a first name basis with."

Karine smiled at this and took her place _right_ next to Anna. Her cheeks went from light pink to flirting with crimson.

Next came a stretch of silence like a fog in the air around them, during which the stranger didn't seem know how to get a foothold in conversation. It lasted what felt like a few seconds, which was manifestly too long for Anna. "Soo," she drawled, scooping all the confusion on her face neatly into her voice, "what brings you to join our charming little table?"

 _Yes,_ Elsa mentally concurred, _what brings you here, she who looks far too closely at my sister_?

"Well, to be honest, I've noticed you around, and decided that it'd be nice to join you for a little while." Brown eyes met only teal with a smirk.

The space between Anna's speckled freckles pooled with a sharp, bright pink. Elsa, on the other hand, choked down a lump in her throat, and fixated solely on halting the cold. She kept close watch over her younger's breath.

"Ye-yeah, well yeah, it does sound nice for you to join us- not like _kind_ nice, like not a favor, like nice nice, like it'll be nice to have some company, right Elsa? Elsa's a little shy but she's nice too!"

Karine giggled with a quick look at the platinum blonde. "You're kinda cute when you're nervous, you know that?"

Anna fidgeted in place, looking like she was dancing on hot coals and instantly averting her gaze to anywhere _but_ the girl in front of her. The embers below her feet must have caught ablaze her face, because she was beet red. A tensely nervous laugh eked out of her, as if it'd douse the conflagration of her emotions. "You're blunt." She tucked invisible hair behind her ear.

"You're squirming."

"You're observant."

"You're easy to read."

"You're gorgeous. Wait, what!?" Anna's eyes nearly popped right out of her red skull. She looked like she was about to panic her way into swooning.

Lost in the heat of the moment, neither noticed that their breath was visible now. Elsa was shaking, distraught and in as much of a frenzy as her Anna. Jealousy was a savage beast hopeless to tame, and it fed insatiably off of the scene unfolding right before her eyes.

"You're stunning." She heard Karine's voice far away from where her own mind was.

"Excuse me," Elsa blurted as she slammed her book closed and packed her things. She had to get away and quell her cold running blood and icy anxiety before it clutched those around her in its stalwart grip. Images of her completely losing her control flooded through her mind and the self-feeding cycle began. This time, her cherished Anna-Effect fell flat. Before she knew it, she was in the bathroom, where she could isolate herself, calm down, and stop undermining the school's heating system. She couldn't risk anything. What if someone got hurt again? What if she couldn't undo her self-made winter? She didn't really notice if Anna paid her any mind when she left. She'd probably rather be left alone to flirt, right?

What if Elsa was as bold as Karine? Would Anna have giggled and blushed like that if her older sister said such things to her? She wondered if Anna had or would ever see her as anything more than a sister. Just how crazy _was_ Elsa?

She sighed. Her eyes felt hot, starting to well up with tears. She forced the lump in her throat to stay down. What did she really expect? Anna to somehow, by some astronomical twist of fate, actually have feelings for her? For Anna to never mature and have her own romantic life? For her to stay behind with Elsa forever?

 _You're not normal,_ she scolded herself, her father's voice echoing in her ears. _In any way._

"Elsa? Oh brrr!" Her sister's sweet, breathy, shaky voice interrupted the edler's sulking. How rude. She stood like a statue of ice in her locked stall. "Elsa, I _know_ that's you. I don't have to be magic to feel _that_." Anna's footsteps traced to right outside the stall door. "What's wrong?"

Elsa sucked in a deep, forced, and entirely unfulfilling breath. "I- I um," she said, shutting her eyes in focus, "I just- just lost control and- and I couldn't get it back." She wasn't _lying_.

Anna took her time to answer. Elsa wondered what was going through her head. "Well, come here then, it sounds like you need a long, warm hug."

That was why Anna was so perfect. She _always_ knew what to do, and what to say. She _knew_ Elsa like no one else, Elsa knew _her_ like no one else. Elsa wanted to _know_ her even closer. She choked down some cotton that had floundered into her mouth and, with a clank, unlocked her hiding spot.

Anna smiled gleamingly. Aboveboard happiness. She held out her arms like an invitation, and Elsa accepted.

She'd come for her. Left her conversation to find Elsa. This, Elsa took great solace in, along with the physical connection, warmth, and little safe place that was thrown like a blanket around the two. Anna was still her sister, and maybe it was time that Elsa started thinking of her as nothing more than simply that. She felt a spike in her curse as her heart silently wept.

"Do you want to talk about whatever's causing it?" Such gentle concern placed so sweetly into words. She pulled her head back just enough so they could see each other's eyes and idly used her teeth to toy with her lip. There was some sort of arcane glimmer in her eye, like the reflection of a star when someone makes a wish.

But Elsa said "no," because she couldn't talk about it, even if she wanted to. Especially now that she was mulling over if and _how_ to bury it. "I just want to stay here."

"Okay, as long as you want." Her voice was faintly curbed by a dull sense of disenchantment. Or maybe it was simple moroseness over being unable to help her sister more. That's what Elsa assumed.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, pressing her face into the crook of Anna's neck.

A hand stroked the back of Elsa's head. The tactile flourish buzzed above and beneath her skin. "Don't be. You're you, and I'd never want you to be anyone but you."

It was truly amazing how much of an impact simple words could make, especially on someone who doubted them self as much as Elsa.

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A/N: I do not own any characters in this fic, except Karine, who is based off of a good friend. Hans is sooo cliche, so let's use an original character instead, yeah?

Comments, suggestions, predictions? Leave 'em below, thank you all :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Apologies in advance for the short chapter.

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"Whoa!" Anna marveled, grasping her overturned cup, the muted thud of fresh, dense ice bouncing on the carpet. Her eyes twinkled with enchantment acutely reflected in Elsa's smile. The events from lunch the previous day were lost in the past, decayed swiftly from memory, for the time being.

According to Anna, Elsa had "graduated" from freezing cups of water, and now it was time to work on accuracy and precision. She clearly had _not_ expected her elder to be able to freeze falling water on her first attempt, and perhaps had also not thought her actions through before throwing the liquid at Elsa's carpet.

"How do you _do_ that?" She gushed, eyes staring like saucers at the frozen solid by her feet.

"I just think of it, and it happens. I don't know really." Elsa looked at her slender fingers, as if to unearth answers.

As she looked back up, her sister's eyes also darted up from pale fingertips. "Elsa's magic hands." Anna's eyes bulged. "That came out wrong, I mean _literally_ magic, not _that,_ not um- well you know- I just-" She was sucking air now.

Elsa was far behind now. Her mind was stuck on images and scenes that thought brought up. Things that didn't make her cold, but rather _hot_ , and flushed _._ The room may have been below freezing, but it was _sweltering._ "I-Anna-Uh-"

"So anyway," the younger said loudly, adamantly demanding a change of subject. Fine by Elsa, even though she could barely hear it over the roaring of her thoughts. "Me and Karine- we have a date Friday."

Okay, Elsa was _not_ okay with it. She'd much rather go back to the awkward, flustered, and borderline inappropriate conversation they were almost having. "Th-that was fast!"

Anna shrugged, blushing deeply. "Well, she _is_ quite direct."

Elsa tried to hide her scowl, but her facade was short lived. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to talk about this. "Yes she is."

The younger put her arms around her own chest, rubbing them for warmth, and shivered. "I know you don't like that-"

 _Gee, I wonder how Anna knew_ that, _it's almost like_ magic, Elsa brooded sardonically.

"-but I like that about her. It makes things simple. And if anyone can use some simplicity in their lives, it's us." She grabbed Elsa's hand, but just about yanked away in reflex.

Elsa felt bad for probably numbing her sister's hand in a matter of seconds, but it was still there. "Yeah," she admitted. "Our lives are complicated." And maybe she could help un-complicate things. All she'd have to do is step aside to let Anna pass through a new door in her life. It's not like Elsa wouldn't be a part of it.

"Just a smidge." Anna smiled with soft disquietude. She brushed her thumb across white knuckles, sending goosebumps up Elsa's entire arm. "Elsa, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

That was easy for her to say. She had no idea what Elsa was wrestling with: her aberrant fantasy. "I- I…"

The younger waited patiently.

Elsa just closed her eyes and shook her head. She'd made her choice, she had to stick with it.

"Oh, Elsa," Anna breathed, leaning in close and holding tight. She was _so warm._ "It's okay."

At first, Elsa hadn't even realized she was crying. But now she was biting back tears in a lump in the back of her throat.

"Me going on one date isn't gonna change anything. We're still best friends, we'll still spend just as much time together, we'll still have our sister dates."

 _Sister_ dates _._ Elsa didn't know what to say, and when she didn't, Anna sighed. "And honestly," she continued, ripping her warmth and safety from her elder and confronting her eyes, "I was sorta hoping you'd be happy for me." Anna bit her lip. "Well, that's a lie. I was _really_ hoping you would be."

Creeping regret wrapped its hurtful arms around Elsa's heart. The melancholy on Anna's face was unmistakable as it leaked into the air around them, ringing in the silence. "I know, I'm sorry, I- I am, I am, I just… I've just been selfish." It was time to think about _Anna's_ happiness; to find the proverbial spade and start digging.

Anna loosened. "I know it's not easy for you, seeing your baby sister grow up. I mean, if it was in your position, I'd be mortified." She paused as the words sunk in. "But it's just one da-"

 **Knock knock knock!**

"It's okay, Elsa," Anna assured when her elder jumped, standing up with a huff.

Elsa sat, a mess of loose ends and abscessed panic, as Anna answered the door. She wondered how cold it actually was in the house.

"Elsa, you need to-"

"Don't." Anna's voice was sharpened, waylaying their father.

He took a moment to regain himself. "Anna, what're you-"

"I said, _don't,_ " she practically seethed through gritted teeth.

"I just need-"

"Elsa to warm up the house?" Anna's hands were on her hips now. The sight was oddly satisfying.

"Exactly" the man said. Irritation was growing in his dark, judging eyes. Elsa felt the weight of their stare.

Anna, it seems, did not. "Mm-hm, and we wanted to have a conversation."

 _Wanted_ to and _had_ to were two very different things, Anna must have gotten them confused.

"Can you continue this conversation tomorrow?"

"Since you asked," Anna toyed with her words, like a cat and prey. "We'd be happy to." Sassy.

He grunted and left. Elsa watched the fog from his breath vaporize. Anna walked over and gave her a welcome hug. Her hair smelled like lavender. "Thanks for talking."

Elsa gave a half hearted smiled and embraced her _sister_. Maybe it was worth it. "You're welcome."

"Good night, Elsa, I love you." Auburn hair swung around like a curtain as its owner turned to leave.

"Good night, sis." The remainder of her intended phrase got hedged in her throat.

Anna smirked over her shoulder. "That's a new one, for you."

Elsa just shrugged with her own playful grin. Her younger continued out. "I love you too" finally made it to her tongue before the door shut.

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A/N: Next chapter's significantly longer, and will hopefully be out Friday, instead of Saturday. Thanks for reading, you're the best :)


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Hello once again and welcome back! I hope you enjoy! Thank you, as always, for the reviews!_

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Over the next couple of days, Karine joined them for lunch. Each time, Elsa excused herself saying that the two should have some time together.

In reality, she was soliciting the out of sight, out of mind tactic. And it was working. Sort of. Slowly. Slowly but sort of? That wasn't a thing. Elsa shook her head and went back to her book. Lunch was almost over, and lately, distractions were her best friend. She was _sure_ that spending lunch alone, rather than with her sister, would have been unbearably lonely if not for her safe haven of printed word. Almost like augury, the more she ignored everything, the less it hurt. So, that had been her go-to method.

The bell rang. Elsa packed up and went to class.

The rest of the day kinda just coasted by her. She focused on her school work to keep her cynosure from being the obvious. When she saw Anna at the end of the day, her heart skipped a beat. Anna slid right back in to normal conversation, like nothing at all was different between them. Maybe because, for her, nothing _was._ And that stung. But also, in an odd way, was soothing.

To know Anna would always be there, in some capacity.

On the way home, Elsa wondered if she was over-reacting to all of this while she idly maintained conversation with her sister. Grey clouds slowly overtook the rich afternoon sky, and she concluded that she was not overplaying this. At the very least, it was a taste of what was to come in the future, and she had to be ready for it. The sooner she could muzzle her feelings, the less she'd hear their bereft screams.

"I just don't know what to wear," Anna said, collapsing onto Elsa's bed as if it were her own. Elsa remained standing.

"You'll look great in anything, Anna." Elsa tried to play it cool- or rather hot- against her frigid, jealous anxiety.

"Well thank you very much." The younger whimsically batted her eyelashes, like a hummingbird does its wings. _Ugh_ that was adorable. Elsa choked down a hot flush rising to her face. She purged her mind of any un-sisterly thoughts surfacing and tore her eyes away from those _enticing_ freckles. "But really, what should I wear? Should I go casual? Or dress up? What if I over dress? She seems pretty casual, right? But what if she dresses up and I don't? Am I overthinking this?" A defeated groan crawled through Elsa's ears.

"I- I don't kn-know."

Anna rolled her eyes, in a good-natured way. "You're just the Queen of Un-helpfulness today aren't you?"

"Well _sorry_ ," Elsa said hyperbolically, "I've never been on a d-date before." She thought about her recent and not so recent outings with her sibling. The movie they saw jumped to mind readily, and how they cuddled for the entire thing. Her chest became hot.

"What, am I not good enough for you?" Anna teased. She smirked.

"Huh?" Elsa froze, heart skipping like a broken record. Anna shivered. Elsa cursed the tyrannical winter within her.

"Our sister dates, those have to count, because otherwise I've never been on a date either!" She spoke very animatedly.

"I- we- I- I never thought-"

"Exactly!" Cheerful. "So you _have_ been on a date!"

Elsa was left to blink, as if each time would help her get a grip on everything that was tumbling like rocks around her churning stomach. Her cheeks _boiled,_ she _knew_ how blushed she was. She thought she saw something of a triumphant smile cross freckled cheeks. Elsa turned to hide her rosy cheeks.

"So," Anna was relentless! "You must know what I should wear!"

"Well, that doesn't make any sense," Elsa defended, flabbergasted. There was that Anna-logic again. Though to be fair, it was Elsa's favorite logic.

"Okay then, smartypants." Anna rolled onto her stomach, grabbing her elder's arm and pulling to twirl her, such that they were facing one another; albeit Elsa looking nearly straight down and Anna peering almost vertically to speak face-to-face. Anna sported an incredibly smug, _very_ hot grin. Elsa couldn't help but take a cursory glance over the curves of Anna's body in her skinny jeans. "What do I look best in?"

"A-anything," Elsa replied, entranced by her sister's darkened blue eyes.

"You have to pick one thing." Anna looked _so_ satisfied with herself, it was driving Elsa crazy.

 _She's your sister,_ the elder reminded herself, _stop!_ She turned her head a little, as if it'd help. "Th-the green and black one."

Elsa _felt_ that eye-roll. "You might not be able to, but _I_ can feel the cold. That one has no sleeves! But, what about this?" Anna rolled off the bed and bounced out the door, returning a couple minutes later. She held her long sleeve, light green dress. It was simple enough, with a stylized floral pattern at the hem of the ankle-length skirt.

The elder sister nodded tensely.

"Okay, turn around, I'm gonna change." Anna made a spinning motion with her hand.

Elsa did so and shut her eyes, trying her very best not to faint. Her whole idea of concealing her feelings for Anna was a _lot_ easier said than done. She supposed she should have predicted that, but here she was, light-headed and knees wobbling like jello.

"So, how do I look?"

With a cautious turn, Elsa found Anna posed, arms held spread apart, as if presenting herself for appraisal. Elsa did so, briefly glancing at the discarded jeans and t-shirt at her sister's feet. "Incredible," she stammered in outright honestly.

Although this did brighten Anna's smile considerably, it did not stop the glacial swell of jealousy in Elsa's heart.

 _Conceal_ , she scolded, _don't feel._ Don't let the room freeze. Don't let Anna know something's wrong. Don't let Anna find out that Elsa _hated_ that she was dressing up for _anyone_ else. Smile, force a smile.

Anna gave her a quick hug. "Thanks, Els, I've gotta go, don't you dare fall asleep, I'll be back in a few hours and I want to tell you all about it!"

Elsa promised she'd be up, and the door smacked shut behind the pitter patter of excited, light feet. Once it did, the now alone girl slammed her tearing eyes shut and forced out a breathy, jerky, and unsteady wimper. Ice crackled and erupted along the floor, traveling like vines up the walls and onto the ceiling until it surrounded Elsa much like the hollowness consuming her heart.

She didn't know how long she laid there, in the warm spot Anna left behind on her bed. The Anna-Effect was reversing, and Elsa felt hopelessly adrift in a sea of painful reality. The residual physical heat was as close as she could be to Anna, and the best she could do against the cold of her powers.

But she couldn't just lay there like a husk. Well, she could, but the build up in her mind would drive her insane. The sun glowed dimly through thick clouds into Elsa's window. Room ever colder, she sat up and opened up her laptop. A familiar enemy stared back at her: a page with no words.

But tonight it wouldn't haunt her.

Tonight, Elsa defeated her functionally chronic writer's block, for at least a little while. She poured everything onto her blank canvas, fingers clacking away in a porcelain blur on her keyboard. She transformed her irrational, illogical feelings into coherent words, painting a mental picture of her abstract internal struggle.

By the end, she had several completed stanzas immortalizing her week's struggles. She looked around. The frost was gone, along with the daylight.

And for the first time all week, Elsa was able to sit decorously with her thoughts. Silence permeated her mind with tactful ease, her needy emotions given the attention they desired. She didn't know what time Anna left, or what time it was now, for that matter. Elsa took in a deep, satisfying breath and sank into her comfortable bed.

It was not time to fall asleep. She wondered what Anna was doing right then. _No, that's a bad idea_. Elsa quickly shifted her thoughts to her poem. Which was about Anna. Who was on a date right now.

Elsa groaned, stuffing her eyes into her palms. She picked up her book.

* * *

The muffled sound of the front door perked Elsa up. She could say she had lost track of time, but she'd be lying. Before she knew it, her sister was at her door. She just hoped she wasn't walking into too much of a cooler.

Elsa put down her reading material to face Anna, who had marched in without a second thought- or first knock. "So," the elder said, smiling disingenuously. "How'd it go?"

Anna's grin was wide and dumb, probably close to how Elsa looked when thinking about her. "It was _amazing!_ " She went on to ramble about where they went and what they did. Just out to eat at somewhere on the other side of town. Elsa had never been there. "Karine's _so_ funny! And blunt! Sometimes when she says something it's like being punched right in the face!" Anna jabbed her fist at the air to emphasise her hit. "Did you know her family's from _France_!? She was born here- or maybe they moved here right after she was born? I forget, but her parents grew up in France!"

Indeed, Karine did sound deeply interesting, but Elsa didn't want to hear another word about her. She _wanted_ to be happy for Anna, the joy on those perky freckled cheeks was so prevalent, and the enthusiasm in her speech should have tickled and cheered Elsa.

But it didn't. And Elsa felt awful for that. "Sounds like you really like her." Did that come off cold?

"Yeah," Anna replied dreamily, eyes looking up with her mood. "I do."

"Did you kiss her?" Elsa would have stopped herself from saying that, had her mind _told_ her about its plans. It was too late now, so she just sat stiff as stone.

"No!" Anna slapped her elder's hand, as if she was lightheartedly reprimanding a pup, face beet red.

Was it right for Elsa to feel that much relief? Her stone body turned to flesh. Now, the younger's cheeks looked like rose petals.

"But we held hands!"

"Are you going to see her again?" Elsa didn't really want to know the answer.

Anna's simper said it all. "Yeah, next week!"

That was an unpleasant answer. "That's great, Anna." Stop. Conceal. Don't feel. Frosted finger tips intertwined. "But I'm quite tired, I think I should go to sleep."

Anna did not seem to like this. Her brow furrowed and her speckled nose crinkled like she smelled something amiss. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea, I guess." She no longer had that excited flair in her voice.

Elsa choked down several emotions, then opened her door.

It took just a few blinks of confused eyes for the younger to piece together the situation. Silently, she got up and walked.

"Good night," Elsa croaked out. The doorknob was crepitating.

Anna stopped, opened her mouth, and put her finger up, but her jaw just hung there dumbly. Eventually, she just sighed "Good night, Elsa."

She shut the door behind her younger sister, and Elsa closed her eyes tight, sinking to the floor and letting previously cornered emotions loose. She dripped frozen tears and sniffled, forcing herself to silence. Blooms of ice appeared like taunting flowers. She wondered if she'd done the right thing. Would pushing Anna away now save them both pain in the future? Just until Elsa got over her feelings. Until then, she risked hampering Anna's chance of joy with someone else, right?

Sleep was elusive that night. The next morning, Elsa wasn't quite ready to open the door when Anna knocked. In fact, she didn't leave her room until afternoon.

Anna did not take her excuse of being tired graciously. But the truth was, Elsa had been struggling all day just to keep the ice off of her carpet. "Well, you can't just go all day without eating, you need to eat," Anna chastised after assertively verbalizing her dissent for Elsa's behavior that day.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I could eat."

"Why don't I make you a sandwich?"

Elsa tore her eyes away from her sister, forcing herself not to gawk. Anna was beautiful, inside and out. She reminded herself to stem such thoughts, and closed her brining eyes. "That sounds great, thank you, Anna." Elsa examined her fingertips, which were now brimming with catastrophic potential. The blue of her eyes traced the spindly silver of Anna's hair. If Elsa wasn't careful, she'd hurt such a pure person, in more ways than one.

Anna was studying her elder with a tilted head and frown. "Okay. Light mayo?"

"Yes please. Thank you." Elsa sat down.

Soon, Anna joined next to her. "So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

Elsa took a bite. "Hm," she hummed, "I don't know. I was thinking about maybe trying to write."

Anna pursed her lips to the side of her face. "You don't wanna go out and do something?"

Hurt rustling in aquamarine eyes pinched at the elder's heart strings. "I'm just a little tired today." The younger tried to hide that she was getting cold.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"No- yes- I'm feeling fine, I just-" Why? Why didn't she just say no? That was her out! Elsa sighed, mostly at herself. "I don't know."

That was yet another thing that Anna disliked. "Are _you_ okay?" She leaned forward, her eyes inquisitive.

There was a part, a tiny, distant, barely audible part of Elsa that wanted to tell Anna. But she couldn't. It kind of sounded like it was shouting through water. It was irrefutably out of the question, though.

Anna shivered, manifesting that she _knew_ the answer.

Elsa shifted, getting comfortable in the grave she was digging for herself. "I… Yes."

An injured face twitched. A blink of the eyes, as if in disbelief; a fake smile quickly wringed out into a forlorn grimace. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Y-yes."

"Well," the younger nodded, "I'll see you for practice later." With that, she took her leave.

Elsa didn't feel like finishing her sandwich. But she did.

* * *

 _A/N: So, what'd you think?_


	7. 7

_A/N: The spacing seems to be registering odd on the document manager for this one, hopefully it looks normal now that it's posted as part of the story :)_

 _Anyway, thank you for reading, coming back, enjoying, and as always, enjoy :)_

* * *

The afternoon dragged by like fingernails on a chalkboard. The air in Elsa's lungs coarsely questioned her actions, and the ambiance around the house was distractingly quiet.

Until a knock startled Elsa. "Come in," she breathed into the cold air.

Anna looked… nervous. She wore a light sweater and green sweatpants, and didn't have a cup with her. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," the elder smiled.

"Did you get to write anything?"

"Y-yeah, a little bit," she fibbed. "Did- what did you do?"

Petite shoulders shrugged. Anna was still standing. "Oh, nothing really. I called Karine for a little bit."

Elsa grimaced.

Their awkward small talk withered like an unwatered flower, and Anna drove the bus of focus. "Alright, shall we?"

Trepidatiously, the elder shook her head. "I um- I haven't exactly been in- in control of my…" Elsa didn't really know what to call it right now. So she trailed off for a moment.

"Your powers," Anna proclaimed.

"My powers-" that tasted weird- "today."

Anna beckoned at her clothes. "I know." She sat down. They were close again, but not as close as normal. Elsa fancied to think that was a coincidence. "That's exactly why we have to practice today. To fix that."

That wasn't just Anna logic. That was real logic, and as much as it made sense, Elsa tried to reason it away. If she can't manage her powers, then she can't keep Anna safe, and history would snatch the opportunity to repeat itself. Something unfriendly wriggled in her stomach. She kept her eyes from her sister's peculiar hair. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Well I know it is such a good idea."

Elsa rolled her eyes with no smile. "Anna, really, I'm serious."

"Relax, Elsa, I am too. We know how to get your control back, right?"

The Anna-Effect. That hadn't been working so well lately. She nodded.

"So," the optimist said, "Let me help you."

There wasn't really any contending this. "Okay."

Anna, for her part, resembled a soldier having just won a trying battle. Her face lit up like a light. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around her elder.

Elsa felt her sibling recoil in shock, giving pause to the hug for no more than a few seconds.

"Elsa! You're so cold! Like literally as cold as ice!"

That's when she felt her stomach drop, all the way to the floor. To the floor below, too. And it stayed there, pitted and anxious. That's it, Anna could absolutely not be around her, let alone touch her right now!

But before Elsa could escape, she was circumscribed by lithe, strong arms adamantly imprisoning her. She squirmed and writhed to get out.

"It's okay, Elsa," her captor's calm voice iterated.

It was not okay. Elsa felt like she was being sucked into an inexorable vortex. Her mind spiraling down to the depths of her memories, fears, and regrets. She was so cold that she felt it, how frigid Anna must have felt was unimaginable, clinging stubbornly to the epicenter of winter. Elsa was hurting Anna. And while she lived this, she re-lived maiming the very same girl.

The giggles of a carefree child, glee rumbling from her every move. Elsa's futile commands, lost in the swirls of excitement and titillating magic. Anna's leap, as jovial and carefree as ever, aloof in the air, putting complete trust in Elsa.

And Elsa's miss-fire. Her failing that trust. Her terrified yelp, the sickening thud of a tiny body collapsing onto the floor, and the horrifying cyanic shift in the little one's skin. Ice covered a toddler's freckled face, and Elsa screamed. Elsa's fear and cluelessness, her father's angry yells and hatred's inception. Anna's amnesia, and the first time Elsa feared herself.

And now, the ice that swelled from Elsa's body was covering Anna again. That could not happen! Who knew what it'd do, to cover her entire body, not just her head! How much would it hurt her? What if it permanently damaged her? What if it killed her!? Elsa yanked and pulled, kicked and yelled to get out, but Anna was strong. "Anna, l-let me go!"

"No, w-whatever's going on, it's o-okay, Elsa, I p-p-promise!" Her voice shivered.

"Get off of me! Get off!" Elsa tugged with all her might, her panic whirling around her in physical storms of ice and snow! Suddenly, like a rubber band, she snapped free, toppling off of the bed. Panting, she desperately searched for Anna, her heart already shriveling into a cavern of dread. In the moments she was blinded by her hysteria, she feared the worst.

"See, Elsa?" Quietly, calmly, and measured, Anna talked through the fog in the older's mind. "It's okay. I'm okay."

Blue eyes ruefully traced over cyan lips.

"What are you afraid will happen?" Anna had her head cocked to one side slightly, but remained impassive in demeanor.

Elsa fumbled with her hands, ruminating in her discomfiture. She couldn't bear the thought of Anna hating her, but it'd make the distance between them easier, right? It'd hurt in its own way, but allay the pain of Anna's budding relationship. But then what would father do? She was sure his warnings were right. Elsa choked down an icecube of dread. Backed into a choice with no winning, she shrank in her spot. "I- I'm sorry, Anna, I don't want to h-hurt you." She'd only removed one word from the whole truth. Again.

"You're not going to," a softened face scooted closer. "You weren't so scared of that a couple weeks ago. What changed? What happened, Elsa?"

Elsa could think of at least one major, human change since then. "Nothing- I just- I'm sorry."

"Please, Elsa." Anna took icicle fingers into hers. "You can talk to me."

Their father thought otherwise, and so did the blonde's secret feelings. Feelings that she was still trying to squash, by the way. She couldn't tell Anna about those, about her jealousy, so that was out. And her dad had never been shy about rubbing salt in her wounds. With rigour. In fact, sometimes she wondered if he enjoyed it. But then, she always felt bad, assuming such sadistic intentions. Anyway, at first, Elsa didn't really believe him, she just did what he said because, well, she was a well-behaved little girl. Over time, though, the more he said it, almost like mind control, she began to believe that Anna would hate her for what she did. And he reminded Elsa plenty. Whenever he was angry with her, whenever she wasn't listening to him, even right now. Not physically, but his astral voice projected into her head. 'You can't tell Anna, she'll never forgive you. She'll fear you. She'll hate you.'

So now, Elsa's silently trembling lips, misting eyes, and thumping heart turned her into a bonafide ice sculpture. "N-no, Anna, I can't." She closed her eyes. That smarted.

"Why not?" Anna's eyes were glimmering now, and freckle dusted face was crestfallen with the betrayal of her sister. Her voice was raised almost an octave.

"Because-" solutions seemed to slip away like soap every time Elsa thought she'd grabbed one- "because-"

"Because why?" What's going on? I want to understand, I want to help!" She was leaning in now, close to Elsa. "Why do you feel the need to hide things from me?" Elsa could feel her sister's voice.

"It's not that, I-"

"Yes, it is, and it hurts, Elsa." Anna was crying now, shivers in her voice, and a speckling drop of tears hanging at the tip of her dainty button nose. "You've been distant lately, and I can't help if you don't let me."

Elsa looked down, shame, regret, and agony clawing their way into her tense throat, making it ache. Pressure built behind her eyes, and she sniffled. As if that'd keep her demons inside. When she said nothing, Anna placed one hand on each of her elder's shoulders.

"So let me." Her breath billowed rich and thick.

"I can't!" Elsa almost snapped. More like it just exploded through the blockage in her voice box while it could. But it opened the floodgates. "I'm scared, and I'm sorry Anna, but I just- I just can't, just please, please trust me!" She was not looking at her sister, but rather focusing on a particularly large crease in her sheets. Looking at dulled, dark aquamarine eyes would have hurt too much. She found her hands white knuckled around her now unkempt braid. "It'll be okay."

Anna sat back, considering this with a jaw shut tight and locked. "Okay," she nodded, voice breathy and retreated now. "I trust you."

Elsa sighed with relief. She hadn't noticed how tense she'd become. Her back relaxed its formerly board-like posture; her breath eased out of her throat, where it was previously imprisoned; and her panic simmered away instead of boiling over. In an odd way, she felt close to Anna in that still, timeless moment. Maybe it was the knowledge that, even after all this, Anna still trusted her. She was still Anna, she was still there. Elsa almost smiled.

"Before bed," her sister's now apprehensive, and oddly unconfident voice curled into Elsa's ears. "Can I have a hug?" Anna's arms were folded around her chest, her face doleful.

"Of course," the blonde reassured. Her voice cracked.

And although Elsa's body was freezing, literally, and she was petrified of that spreading to Anna, they embraced tightly, for several minutes. She felt her sister's button nose nuzzle a nest in the crook of her neck, like a scared baby bird finding safety in its mother's wing. For that hug, the Anna-Effect worked. Elsa closed her eyes and took in every piece of the moment. From Anna's delicate breaths, to her warm touch.

She still had her.

* * *

 _A/N: Follow, favorite, and review ;P See you in a few days!_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I'm going out of town tomorrow, and will be busy all weekend, so good news for you all, you get this chapter a day early 3_

 _Thank you so much, and much love!_

* * *

The two didn't change much about their routine. They still spent Sunday together, still drove to school together, and still ate lunch together. Karine had joined them a couple times, and now Elsa simply did her best to stick her nose in a book and ignore what she felt inside. It felt like- like if the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard could be put into one single emotion, like biting a wet cloth and grinding her teeth. Controlling it and herself gave her a headache. Even when the black haired Anna-thief was present, the younger of the siblings would give her elder's hand a soft squeeze if the temperature was dropping. A sly way of silently saying "it's okay, Elsa," so that Karine didn't feel the need to interject.

Or maybe it's because Anna didn't want to stop whatever conversation she was having with her… her girlfriend? No, not that. Not at all- well not yet. _Yet._ That put a dagger right through Elsa's heart. A cold, dreadful one. Anyway, the conversations were usually frightfully disinteresting to Elsa. Possibly because of the overbearing jealousy at Anna's new more-than-friend. Maybe just because it _always_ seemed to be about Karine. She rarely asked about Anna, and _never_ asked about Elsa. Was that really a problem? Maybe Elsa was just being nitpicky, or maybe she was just missing most of the conversation. The latter seemed the most likely.

But more often than not that week, the two had lunch alone. Like before. Except, not at all. The silence was no longer always comfortable. No longer the serene blanket that slid around the two when they used to take out books at lunch.

This was more… cold. Like there was a great physical distance between them that persisted no matter how much time they spent together. In fact, it seemed to grow, eventually spreading to a chasm between them.

And it was uncomfortable, and it made Elsa shift in her seat. While Anna had recounted her morning that day, and they now ate in the quiet. They read in silence. At least Karine wasn't there. Elsa cursed the hollowness in her ears, pining to be filled with her sister's anecdotes.

No such blessing came, and Elsa realized that she hadn't actually been quiet was like virgin snow: begging to be broken, to be destroyed, loudly stomped on.

Anna giggled. That worked. Elsa shot to attention, eyebrow cocked.

"This book," the younger pointed, "is really funny." Her lips were stretched wide, tongue caught between her teeth and lower lip. "You should definitely read it when I'm done."

Elsa nodded, lowering her own book to the table and scanning the title of her sister's " _Little Panic"_. A comedy could be a good change of pace.

And distraction.

"Yeah," she said, her voice a little crumbly. "Maybe I will."

Anna smirked. "You'd better, you stinker."

Elsa furrowed her brow. What did that even mean? "What're you gonna do? Hide every other book until I read that one?"

Somewhat surprisingly, the redhead's tone dropped some of its sarcastic nature. "If that's what it takes, then yeah, why not?"

Elsa cocked her head, but the bell rang, as if it was on Anna's side.

Normally, high schoolers would countdown the hours after lunch on Friday because, well hey, it's _Friday_. But that's not why Elsa was doing it. The clock ticked loudly and slowly in the corner as topaz eyes fixed intensely on it.

 _Tick._

Anna's second date was tonight.

 _Tock._

With Karine.

 _Tick._

What if they did more than hold hands?

 _Tock._

What if they _kissed?_

 _Tick._

Karine would be _stealing_ Elsa's kiss.

 _Tock._

But it wasn't Elsa's kiss. It was never going to be, she reminded herself. Anna was her sister. Anna wasn't interested in her, because, as her father so frequently reminded her, Anna was _normal._ Not that he knew about her… her feelings for Anna, but the sentiment still stood. Anna was normal, Elsa was not. In pretty much every way that Elsa could think of.

She felt nauseous. The room around her wouldn't sit still. She slammed her head onto her desk and groaned, not realizing or caring whether or not anyone was looking her way. She didn't even wonder if the room was colder. Slowly-but-sort-of was not working. No matter how hard she pretended, she couldn't make things real. Go figure.

Elsa sighed quietly, her breath drawing through wistfully. She slumped into her dark, cold corner in the back of the classroom. She ignored the curious glances from around the room as she shifted in her seat to appease her churning stomach. She wondered what Anna was doing right then. Probably laughing, or rambling with a very red face as she tried to answer a question in front of the class. She'd talk faster and faster, until finally she managed to stop her word-vomit, embarrassing herself, even though she probably answered the question correctly in the first place. She'd groan and sit down, hiding her face, while another student no doubtedly chuckled at her expense, and the teacher provided a respectful "thank you."

The point was that _Anna_ was fine while Elsa was not.

She gasped and quickly excused herself to the restroom, an ice covered pencil clattering into her seat in her wake.

On the way home, Anna was the first to talk. "So, how was class?"

Elsa's eyes barely flicked away from the road, and never to her younger. "It was.. Good. Nothing really happened." Her voice hiccuped for a moment whilst speaking. It felt like gagging. She corrected her steering to stay on the road.

Anna was now appraising her, mouth scrunched to one side and worrying at her lower lip. Her auburn eyebrows were pulled together. "Really? Nothing? At all?"

The low rumble of the car hid Elsa's dwarfed gulp. Her heart was becoming harsher with its beats, and her lungs tighter. She kept her eyes on the road. "Not really." Her knuckles were white.

"Hm," Anna mused, removing her penetrating gaze from her elder and tracing the trees that zipped by their vehicle. "So what'd you learn about today?"

Elsa's eyes bulged like golf balls. Blue, stunned, startled golf balls. She froze. "I- we- well we- uh…" Her voice meekly and clunkily trailed off.

"You know," Anna said, matter-of-factly, returning her gaze to bore into her sister. It dug in and almost _hurt_ as it broke Elsa's fragile exterior. "You have a tell."

"H-huh?"

"When you're lying," Anna stated, looking deep into Elsa's eyes, as if she was reading

her soul.

Oh wait. Yeah. She _was._ "I…" The steering wheel was crackling under wintery grip.

Anna shivered. "Everyone has one. I have one, too." She sat back a little in her seat. "I get nervous when I lie, so I force out a laugh, look away, and maybe start rambling to cover how nervous I am. Bottom line is: I'm a bad liar." She regarded Elsa for just a moment. "Yours is more subtle. Wanna know what it is?"

Unable to talk around anxiety, Elsa shook her head, keeping her eyes vehemently glued to the road in front of her. Looking at whatever shade of aquamarine sat next to her might stop her heart.

Anna was nibbling her lower lip again. Elsa could feel her sister's eyes drilling into her temple. She almost felt _violated._ And her heart dropped when she realized Anna was going to tell her, anyway. "You just look away. Not really into space, but at something else close by. Like you're lying to _it_ , not a person. Not me." Okay, now she really did feel violated.

Elsa couldn't breathe. Her airway was clamped by a commanding fist. So she didn't breathe. She held her breath. She didn't bother to check for ice because, well, wasn't that an obvious answer? Why was Anna bringing this up? She had waited until she had Elsa trapped. Nowhere to run. In a different situation, Elsa would have admired her sister for such cunning. She re-lived their previous argument. ' _Please trust me,'_ Elsa had begged, ' _it'll be okay.'_ Lead sulked in her stomach. Anna had analyzed every bit of that conversation, hadn't she? Tried to go back, to decipher every scrypt running in her elder's head, tried to unearth whatever was troubling her.

Anna had dug for hints, and could Elsa blame her? No, not really. Not at all, actually, because Anna was digging to _help_ her. Did that make it right though? For Anna to trap her like that? Elsa didn't know, and she wasn't thinking clearly enough to figure it out, either.

On the subjects of right and wrong, it was only fair for Elsa to ridicule herself, too. Lying to Anna didn't feel good, tasted bitter, and sounded cold. But the truth- well that would've driven a wedge between them faster than their father could apparate to scream at Elsa. She justified it the same way that she did last time: she was stepping aside to let Anna be happy. Was it working, though?

Elsa shook the question from her mind. Of course it was. It had to. Because that's the path she was on. Uncertainty weighed heavily in Elsa's grinding stomach.

"So," the curious, intense voice came back. "Are you really okay with me going out with Karine?"

 _Ugh,_ Anna was an _infuriatingly_ clever little devil. She knew just just how to play the cards she was dealt to force Elsa's hand. Elsa reluctantly turned to look at her sister. She felt bound by those darkened, glossy teal eyes. Rife with a pleading, searching look. The look that Anna _clearly_ wanted Elsa to see. Anna fiddled with the braid on her right hand side, thumb stroking along her white streak of hair. Her bottom lip was blanched it was being chewed so tight, and her eyebrows were straight as arrows.

Anna wasn't asking about Karine.

Anna was _showing_ Elsa how much she wanted _all_ of the truth. ' _Are you gonna keep hiding the truth from me?'_ She asked with her look.

It made Elsa wonder how much Anna thought she knew.

Heart sinking, the elder took in a quick, strained, unhelpful breath. "Of… of course."

Anna regarded her skeptically. "Good, so you'll be ready for practice tomorrow."

 _Dammit!_ Anna had it all lined up. There was no winning. Period. It was like stepping on mouse trap after mousetrap after mousetrap. And Elsa's feet were getting sore. Anna was, amongst many other things, stubborn.

* * *

 _A/N: We're getting there. Next chapter is the set up chapter for everything. Things are falling into place. Stay tuned, next chapter will be out within 5 days :)_

 _Comments, concerns, angers, or questions? Leave 'em below!_


	9. Chapter 9

Elsa's mind wouldn't sit still. She was, but it wasn't. Her bed was soft as ever but didn't really feel that _cozy._ Her thoughts raced with her heart. She felt a little hollow, curled into a ball, and she just wanted to do something to get her mind to _stop._ Reading was out, she'd tried. Made it all of three sentences into the book before she lost focus. When she tried to write, the page just seemed to glare back at her, just like Anna had earlier that day. The sounds of the night were few and far between, maybe the swoosh of a car here and there, as if the world was trying to make Elsa feel even more alone.

It was working. Maybe if she shouted at it, it'd stop. Maybe it would make some owls hoot, or cars drive by; something, anything to make the silent loneliness drowning her seem less deep. Maybe it'd make Anna come back.

Elsa winced. Was Anna out kissing Karine? What were they doing? Dinner and a movie? Were they snuggled up in the theater, just like Elsa and Anna had when they went to a movie? _That_ shot through Elsa's heart with a sharp pain. Karine would be _stealing_ Elsa's cuddles, replacing her. She whimpered in agony as she imagined Anna's bright eyes giving Karine the same exact look they'd given Elsa not so long ago.

Was it possible for your heart to actually, physically _hurt_? Because that's what it was doing. The forlorn girl clutched at her chest.

Okay, she couldn't take it anymore. Elsa shot her arm out and snatched her phone. She unlocked it and paused for several seconds, lingering on her most recent text.

" _Heyyyy, where are you? I'm at the car. Hurry!"_ From Anna. Sent that afternoon, like as soon as the final bell rang at school. Elsa did not ponder for long how her sister got to the car so fast.

She had no other messages. What would it be like to have a friend right now? Someone she could tell everything to, to help her work everything out. Elsa shook her head to expel the thought, and opened up the web browser on her cell. Biting her lip, she searched ' _Little Panic book.'_ Anna had told her to check it out, and so, she was.

Elsa read the summary. A book about a mentally ill girl who does not trust the universe, essentially. It looked like it followed the girl while she made her way through life. Elsa furrowed her brows and cocked her head, re-reading the synopsis. Why did Anna want her to read it so much?

Then, it clicked.

 _Trust._

 _It's about learning to trust._

Elsa's heart sank. Sure, it wasn't about trusting other people, more like it was about trusting the world around one, trusting that loved ones won't vanish, that your body won't spontaneously perish.

But it was still about trust. Learning to trust, more specifically. Elsa closed her eyes and sighed, letting her phone drop to her chest. She fought tears burning in the corners of her eyes, and sucked shaky air into her nose and out her mouth.

She nearly jumped clear off the bed when three loud knocks erupted from her door. She was stressed enough, she didn't need this, especially not now. Elsa could feel her heart pounding in her throat, and she silently entered a stalemate with the door. She made no action to open it or answer the knocks.

The knocks came again, however. "Elsa, open up," such a familiarly disdainful and rough voice demanded. Her father didn't seem agitated- yet- but he didn't sound happy, either.

What should she do? She couldn't ignore him, and she _certainly_ couldn't confront him. She absolutely, positively, without a doubt, didn't want to just stand there and let him insult and degrade her. Elsa's jaw was tense. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place… and another rock.

When her father knocked a _third_ time, his hand was heavier and his voice sharper. "Elsa, now."

The girl chewed her lip, almost to the point of pain. What would Anna say? Something to pass the metaphorical ball to his side of the court. "It's open," she said after a few moments of silence.

It worked. She received just a second or so of stillness as the first response, followed by the doorknob clicking and turning. The man made his entry. The light hit his mustache just right to make it look bigger than it actually was. "I think you know why I'm here." He wore his pajamas.

"Y-yeah." _Wait, Anna would put a little bit more bite into that._ "It's- it's kind of obvious." Elsa's words lacked the commitment and confidence that her sister's would have. Elsa knew this. Hopefully her dad didn't.

"So," he took one step forward. "I don't need to tell you what you need to do."

Elsa scowled. He still didn't understand after all this time! Anna would defend her. "What I have to do? Why don't you do something? Put on another blanket." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Elsa, all you have to do is warm the house back up. Keep your abnormality under control, keep it hidden. That's all." His voice was tense now, clearly irritated.

She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward, forgetting for a moment that she _wasn't_ Anna. "Really? Are you really that dense? Do you think it's that easy, that I can just _not_ feel things? That I can just hide this- this huge part of me!? Newsflash, _dad,_ I'm not normal, and I never will be!" She was gripping fistfulls of her sheets to the point of white knuckles now, leaning far inward and glaring angrily at the man that had made her life so difficult. The room chilled.

"Is it not that simple?" He genuinely did _not_ sound curious.

Elsa threw her arms into the air. "No! It's not! You can't just tell someone not to feel- to hide their feelings and expect it to work! So why, in your dense mind, do you think it'll work with me!?" She didn't even realize that she was standing now, she didn't see the ice sprouting from her feet and engulfing the floor. She did; however, notice how fast her heart was beating. Is that how Anna felt when she did this? No, she probably felt calm.

Her father took a defensive step back, eyes widening in momentary fright. "Oh? Because you've done quite a good job of hiding feelings from Anna for many years now."

The girl's eyes nearly popped right out of her skull. Any hint of bravery she previously possessed hollowed out and fled, and she was left shell shocked. Her mind whirled dizzyingly. "Wh-what's that supposed to m-mean?" Did he know? How would he know about her feelings for Anna? About what he would doubtlessly consider an atypical, disgusting perversion?

"You," his voice frothed with congealed contempt, "struck her, you nearly _killed_ her! That must make you feel something. Every day when you walk beside her, you must remember such an atrocity and feel something. And you hide it. Need I remind you what will happen if, by some turn of events, you stop hiding it?"

Elsa was stunned. Frozen, actually. Like a statue, mouth agape. Elsa was no longer the predator in this encounter.

Having had the taste of control, he stepped forward, pointing at his daughter. "Anna will never, ever forgive you. How could she, for almost killing her? She will _hate_ you if she finds out. Understood?"

She felt like she was eight again. Scared, curled into a ball, whimpering, and cowering in the heavy shadow of her threatening father. She'd cried. That, she remembered clearly. His angry eyes accused her, and at the time, she was too young to really understand the gravity of the situation. Just that she made a mistake and her father was not forgiving her. Elsa choked down a lump in her throat, her eyes misty. She nodded. The room. Was. _Freezing._

"So," he grumbled, "hide your feelings."

When he slammed the door behind him, Elsa was still stuck in place. She was shaking and fighting tirelessly for air. She held her knees to her chest _alone._

* * *

Next time there was a knock, it was much softer, more apprehensive. "Elsa?" The doorknob jiggled, but the girl had locked it when her father left, so the portal did not budge. "Elsa are you okay? The light's on, so I know you're awake."

No. Absolutely not. Elsa was not okay, not even close. She was still curled in the fetal position on her bed wallowing in trepid anxiety. It felt like it was eating her from the inside out, just like the cold. The blanket around her did nothing to fight her powers, as it too was covered in a layer of frost. "Y-yes I am. Oh-okay, that is."

"Elsa…" The younger girl let her voice trail off, allowing the silence to finish her sentence.

"It's um-" Elsa's mind went on a diatribe of everything and anything building up inside of her. She turned her gaze to the locked door. "It was dad. He- he-"

"What did he do!?" Anna's voice carried urgency, anger, and protectiveness all at once. She spoke more clearly, louder, and with conviction. Elsa could almost hear her sister's hands being balled into fists as she spoke, her shoulders held taut, eyebrows narrowed to tunnel her vision. "I swear if he- what did he say to you? What happened? How _dare_ he! Whatever he said, don't listen to him, Elsa, because he's wrong. He's always wrong, and he always will be!"

The overprotectiveness kind of felt good. "He just- he reminded me that I'm a freak," she summarized, still pinned down by her father's prediction.

"Elsa, listen to me. You're not a freak. So, you can make ice with your mind- or hands- or whatever, that's not the point. The point is, that makes you awesome. Not a freak. Awesome. Super amazingly awesome. The awesomest."

That earned a small, wistful smile from the elder, even though Anna couldn't see it. "I'm trying to believe you Anna, I really am." _But I am a freak. Not just because of the ice. I hurt Anna, too. This is not a gift, it's a curse. It has to be._

There was a long silence. When it was broken, Anna's voice was just audible through the door. "Can I um… can I come in?"

Elsa looked around, all the frost settling in the room. "I- I think it'd be best if you didn't," she choked out.

She didn't need the door open to clearly see her sister's slumped shoulders and crestfallen face, her eyes falling to the floor. The image in her head hurt something fierce. She heard… _a sniffle._ Elsa slammed her eyes shut, tears threatening to fall once again. "Well um," Anna swallowed "Karine asked about you, where you go when she comes to lunch, how you're doing." Anna swallowed. "I didn't really know what to tell her." Elsa cringed, internally cursing herself. She was causing the suffering so clearly in her Anna's voice. She was hurting her _again._ "But she said you should stay at lunch more often." There was a pause. "And I agree."

Now, Anna was silent, and it was Elsa's turn to sniffle. She huffed out a vacillating breath.

"Goodnight, Elsa."

"G-goodnight, Anna." Her voice was weak and raspy, like it was actually trying to somehow tell Anna how much pain its owner was in.

* * *

 _A/N: Next chapter is a big one, get ready ;)_

 _Thoughts? Leave them below, pretty please 0:) Thank you for reading and everything!_


	10. Chapter 10

"Elsa," Anna whispered, her quiet voice rife with pleading and her body leaned forward, as if her proximity would spurr answers from her sister.

The older girl just listened, staring blankly at the floor. The room around them, her room, was blooming with ice and frost like a garden of blossoms in Spring. It wasn't very late, so their father was probably still up, but there wasn't a sound passing Elsa's ears other than her sibling's voice and her pounding heart.

"You asked me to trust you- and I do- but- but trust is a two way street. So I do trust you, but I can only trust you as much as you trust me." Anna chewed on her lip. "Does that make sense?"

Elsa simply nodded. She was pretty sure about where Anna was going with this. Well, that was a lie, she was _certain_ where she was going. So-called 'practice' had been a wreck that night, and all Elsa could do was wait and try frantically to find _any_ excuse before she actually had to say anything.

"So, _please,_ talk to me," the younger took her sister's hands, only to jerk away when she felt how freezing they were. Anna stared down at the lithe, pale fingers before her contemplatively. Her voice shook. "You've been- we've both been… just… so different lately. You've been so distant and I've- Elsa I'm scared."

Elsa's heart dropped. "Of wh-what?"

"Of losing you," the younger sniffled.

Silence rang. Elsa's mouth hung slightly ajar. "Anna you- you won't-"

"Yes, Elsa, I will. At the rate we're going, if something doesn't change, what's gonna happen? If you keep locking me out?"

Ouch. Just… ouch. Elsa had to close her eyes tight and remind herself that she _had_ to be making the right choice. Because if not, then… then, well, Anna was right. And that had dreadful implications.

"I know it has something to do with this streak of blonde hair, you always stare at it when you're scared or nervous, or can't control your powers as well- you did it today, too." The redhead grabbed her mis-colored lochs, and again let her voice fall low. "So please, help me fix this."

At least that narrowed the conversation down. Shifted focus from Elsa's feelings, but left a spotlight on the past. Elsa couldn't even breathe, let alone talk. But Anna was patient, listening to the erratic breaths as the gears grinded within the elder's mind. She _ached_ to blurt everything out, to lift this decade old weight from her shoulders and run free. To make it all go away with just a few words.

"Anna, I-" the younger perked up- "well, you see, it's-" but then her father's warnings climbed right back onto her shoulders. The reminder that had been mercilessly branded to her by her father since she was just eight years old. Anna could _hate_ her, despise her, want nothing to do with her. She'd discard her for her rueful mistake.

Plus, even if he was wrong (which Elsa highly doubted, given how insistent and ruthless he'd been about it for the passed ten years), then what? Then they were okay, until Karine was brought up next time and Anna realized there was _still_ a tremendous secret? Next, history would repeat itself, and they'd start to drift apart. It was futile. Elsa saw no winning play with the hand she'd dealt herself. "Anna, it's- I- I can't."

Crestfallen and shocked, the redhead sat straight. "What, why?"

"Anna, I'm- I'm sorry." The elder slumped, her posture mirroring her internal strife.

She just blinked a few times, mouth hanging wide open. "That's all? Sorry? Elsa wha- I don't-" Elsa could see her sister was full to bursting, her face and voice becoming more agitated as she spoke. "Do you actually not trust me? Is that it?"

"No, Anna-"

"Then why, Elsa, why won't you just tell me? What on _Earth_ could be so important to keep secret from me!? Why do you shut me out!? What are you so _afraid_ of!"

"Anna!" Elsa snapped, the stress of the situation proving to be too much for her to take. A blast of ice rocketed from her fingertips into the carpet, forming a few menacing icicles. Her breath hitched. "I just... can't," she said, less aggressively, clutching her misfiring hand to her chest.

The younger swallowed stiffly. "Then I'll go ask dad."

Elsa's eyes popped in surprise. Her heart sank, but before she could react, Anna vanished.

In a display of athleticism entirely unlike her, Elsa took off like a gazelle, flying through the hallway and clearing the stairs in one, maybe two (okay, eight) steps. But even then she was too slow.

Loud knocks "dad, open up!" Anna hollered into the master bedroom.

Elsa just froze. Literally, figuratively, whatever, she was just frozen. The pounding continued until-

*Click*

Pale legs twitched to run the other way, escape and hide _anywhere_ but here. She could run away, she could cocoon herself in ice and never have to deal with whatever was about to-

"Anna what the-" the man paused momentarily, taking stock of the scene before him. The determined scowl on Anna's face, and likely the look of sheer panic and terror in Elsa's. Not to mention the obvious, ice- "hell is going on?" his voice was more confused than agitated by the end.

"What," Anna said, taking step forward and boring her teal eyes into her father's currently analytical amber ones. She grabbed the piece of her hair in question and shoved it at his face. "Is the big deal about this? Why is it so important!?"

If Elsa could pinpoint a singular moment in her life where everything around her just kinda… stopped moving, where unadulterated fear was of primacy to her life and absolutely nothing but her meteoric heartbeat lashed at her ears, it would be that moment. She felt like she'd been hiding every feeling and emotion behind a glass wall, and Anna had just taken a sledgehammer to it, shattering everything around Elsa in an almost surreal display of obstinance.

Yeah, Elsa still wanted to run, but she was kind of stuck in place.

 _Especially_ when understanding flickered in her father's eyes and they went from that rare amber to dark umber, narrowing at her. "Elsa," he snapped, taking a step forward out of aggression, and punctuating himself by pointing a finger at the ground, "what the _Hell_ have you done!" It wasn't actually a question at all.

The girl's jaw trembled, and her body prepared to enact fight or flight, but-

"You know what, no!" Anna screamed, stepping between her family members and jabbing a dainty finger into her father's surly frame. "I'm done with this! I am _sick_ and _tired_ of you _always_ blaming Elsa for _everything_! I don't know what the _hell_ you're keeping from me, but it's _not_ Elsa's fault, it's yours!" She managed to stagger the man backwards a step or two with a push. An impressive display of strength. She advanced. "It obviously has _something_ to do with my hair and _something_ to do with Elsa's power, so I _know_ it's your fault. It's your fault she can't control her gift, it's your fault she's terrified! And how could she be anything _but_ terrified, how could she even hope to face the world when every day you tell her that the very nature of who she is makes her a monster!?" Anna was screaming at the top of her lungs now. She sobbed the last word. "How?"

Elsa was… Elsa was… she didn't know _what_ she was. The room stood still, freezing in time, sound, actions, and temperature. The man was regarding his younger daughter angrily, but was making no move to respond. A few minutes passed with Elsa's heart beating in her throat like a jackhammer. Or maybe a few seconds. How would she know?

Anna was panting, shoulders hunched angrily, and a snarl painted on her face, still looking at her father.

Trembling, Elsa took a step towards her sister, knees barely keeping her up, and hand reaching out. "Anna.."

But the snarl turned towards her. "And you!" Elsa's eyes went wide, and she retreated her step, holding her hands up in defence. "Elsa, you're my _sister_! My _best friend_! We don't keep secrets from each other! We trust each other. We're _supposed_ to trust each other! We tell each other _everything_ and _anything_! That's what sisters and best friends do! But _no,_ you insist on pushing and pushing me away just to keep your little secret. Well _fine_!" She was roaring like a lion now, inches from her elder's face. "Keep it! Because I'm _done_!"

Elsa could do nothing but watch as her sister stomped away.

* * *

 _A/N: A pretty sure but_ very _important one, huh?_

 _As always, thank you for the love and reviews, and I can't wait to read all of your thoughts about this one!_

 _Buenos dias mis amigos_


	11. Chapter 11

Three days. More specifically, 3 days and 19 hours since Elsa last spoke to Anna. It wasn't really speaking, even. Yelling. Which, the girl supposed could be considered simply a very aggressive form of talking. Angry talking. Very angry talking.

And Anna had been _incredibly_ angry.

That's why Elsa hadn't had the courage to even knock on her sister's door yet. At least, that's what she told herself. _You're just scared to tell her the truth. So many years of hiding it has gotten to you._ She clamped her eyes shut and watched the painted images in her mind of her father's screaming. They were impressionist scenes at best, but they did just that: made an impression.

He hadn't said anything to her, either. By some act of grace by the universe, he'd simply sized up his eldest daughter and left her balling on the floor. That was some form of small miracle.

Her phone buzzed, breaking the silence. How dare it interrupt her anxious mulling. Her heart did skip a beat. No one calls Elsa. No one texts Elsa. No one except _Anna._ Wide eyed and hands shaking, she snatched her device.

She furrowed her brow, heart falling. The number wasn't saved in her contacts. She bit her lip, and eventually decided to answer it. Junk caller was the most likely answer, but…

"H-h-" Elsa cleared her throat. "Hello?" Her voice rasped, the word kinda felt like it was scraping her as it left. Yeah, she hadn't spoken in three days either.

"Hey."

She knew that voice.

"It's Karine."

Elsa's chest clamped. She positively did not want to speak with her sister's girlfriend at the moment. In fact, she'd probably rather just march right on over to Anna's room and barge in. The call did, however, make her furiously wonder "why'd you call?"

There was silence for a moment on the other end. Elsa's fingers slipped a little on her phone as she accidentally created a new case for it. At least making one from ice was cheaper than buying one, inadvertent as it was.

It seems the brunette found her words. "To check up on you."

Elsa's eyebrows pinched together. "Check on me? Shouldn't you be checking on Anna?" There was more disgust in her voice than she wanted to show.

"I did." The other girl's voice was still calm. "But-"

"Is she okay?" The question Houdini'd from her mouth.

Somehow, Karine conveyed pursing her lips over the phone. "Exactly. She's fine, she just- she's quite upset right now."

Elsa blinked her blue eyes a few times with her mouth hanging open. "Well, y-yeah, I- I know _that._ " Did Karine _really_ think she was that dense?

"Mostly at you. She's mostly upset with you, it's just about all she's talked about- well scratch that, it _is_ all she's talked about for days-" okay maybe she was calling to pile stones of regret atop Elsa until she was finally crushed under their weight. "-and, given what she's told me, I can't say she's in the wrong."

How did the glass of Elsa's window survive such extreme temperature variations? "Di-did you call just to make me feel worse?" Her tears, it seems, were present in her voice, too.

"No," Karine deadpanned. "I called make sure you know why she's upset."

"How the _hell_ do you think you know what's going on between us better than me!? How dare you! You think I need it spelled out for me? That I don't know what a colossal mistake I made!?" The blonde's blood began to boil.

Before she could go on a tirade, Karine interrupted, voice actually comfortingly neutral. "She's upset because she cares about you, Elsa."

Her mouth hung agape. She hadn't thought about it that way, and it took her a sizeable amount of time to compile her thoughts and rearrange her analysis of the last few days in her mind to fit that into the equation. Karine was patiently quiet for the duration of this. Maybe it _was_ a good thing that she was so brutishly direct. "I…"

"She wouldn't be this upset if she didn't love you, and she makes that perfectly clear."

That sure piqued Elsa's curiosity. "What- what did she say about me?"

Karine giggled. Not an unpleasant noise. Maybe Elsa should have tried harder to get to know her earlier. Just another regret to tack on to her list. "More like what _doesn't_ she say about you. Hell, I probably know more about you than you do," she jested.

Elsa smiled a small but real one. "So what do you know about me?"

"Let's see," Karine began, "I know your favorite color is blue, though Anna didn't have to tell me that one, I know your favorite book- and don't worry, I won't judge your taste in romance novels-" Elsa blushed "-I know you write," Karine's voice became softer and more serious, like she was scared she was treading in restricted waters. "I know your dad is… less than amicable with you." The blonde gulped. This was strange. Karine was a functional stranger to her. "And I know that you can freeze stuff with your hands."

"My mind," Elsa said without really thinking first. "I freeze stuff with my mind, I just point at it with my hands." That felt… freeing. To talk about her abilities with someone outside of their family. Elsa _liked_ that feeling.

She could hear the smirk in Karine's voice. "Smartass. Okay, you can freeze stuff with your mind- with your hands."

Elsa almost laughed. "Better. You'll be an expert on my powers in no time."

"Your powers?"

Sort of completely dumbfounded, she responded "well, y-yeah, my- my ice?" Was this what short term memory loss was like?

"Anna said you usually refer to it as a curse," Karine answered.

Self consciously, Elsa chewed the inside of her cheek. "Y-yeah, I guess I do."

The other girl wasted no time offering "I think Anna's right- and you just now- it's a power, not a curse."

"You- you barely even know me, what makes you think it's a good thing? Do you even know how much it's put me through?"

"I know some, what with your father and your struggling to keep it under control all the time; but no, I don't know all it's put you through."

Elsa took a breath, intending to rebut.

"-But I'm sure you've seen how happy it makes Anna."

That stopped the blonde's response in its tracks. She, for the third friggin' time in that one singular phone call, found herself at a loss for words. "Yeah," she simply mumbled, heart beating a mile a minute, that perfect glint of teal eyes and smile of wonderment playing in her mind's eye.

"Something that makes someone like Anna _that_ happy can only be a good thing."

Elsa pondered this. She was taken from her thoughts by Karine once again speaking.

"Elsa, you need to take charge in fixing what happened between you two. Anna's not going to make the first move, not this time. And I know, 'how do I know that?' Because Anna's waiting for a sign that you care as much as she does."

 _Elsa_ almost shivered at how cold that made her. Did Anna think she didn't care about her? Was withholding the truth about the past making precious, happy Anna doubt that her older sister loved her? _Oh, Anna._ A sudden flair of jealousy ignited within Elsa. Karine had what the blonde had only ever been able to dream about. _But I still have Anna's sisterhood. If I don't ruin that._ She nibbled on her lower lip. She had to salvage that, it wasn't a choice. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't.

Plus, if it weren't for what would undoubtedly be overbearing jealousy raging within her once she saw Karine and Anna together, Elsa decided that she could definitely be friends with Karine. There was still the hurdle of getting past her feelings if she wanted this to work.

Hopefully telling the truth would give her enough time for that.

"Thank you, Karine." Her voice was a little more curt than it should have been.

"You're welcome, Elsa." A pause. "Um, you have my number now. So if you need anything, you know how to get ahold of me."

"Y-yeah, thanks." And they hung up.

But did Elsa really want time to get over her feelings?

Because, God damn, her heart felt like it was burning all the way down in Hell for her sins right now.

* * *

 _Come on, just knock! Knock!_

Ugh, _it's like I don't even know_ how _to knock!_

Elsa stood, hand curled into a fist, knuckles mere inches from her sister's door. She gritted her teeth, her eyes shut so tight that she saw colors dancing across her eyelids. She exhaled deeply, steeling herself.

Her knock was soft and dainty, like she was, and unlike her father's knock.

 _Wait, what!?_ Elsa's eyes widened. She'd knocked. She stood trapped in place while footsteps gathered towards her. The doorknob clicked, then hesitated, then clacked open.

"Elsa." Not a question, just a statement. The word was breathy, shaky, and what sounded like proud all at once. Anna stood, her mouth hanging slightly ajar, one hand still gripping the door, and the other hanging loosely by her side. Her teal eyes were focused, and Elsa couldn't read her expression.

"Hi," she said dumbly.

Anna blinked one- two- three times. Her mouth widened, as if to speak, but she silently clamped it shut. Elsa held her arms over her stomach, turning her gaze down. Her heart beat heavily. Maybe this was a mistake. She should have figured out what to say beforehand, how to apologize, how to salvage the situation. But she didn't. She didn't know how to. She didn't know how to do _anything_ right now. All she knew was that she had to do this, and she had to do it before she lost her nerve. The only reason she knew that, too, was because Karine had straight up _told_ her. _Idiot,_ Elsa scolded, _how could I let it-_

"Come… come in," Anna whispered.

Stunned, Elsa did as she was told, standing in the center of her sister's room, still hugging herself. Anna was wearing a sweatshirt and fleece pants. It was cold. Anna did not make the first move. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her elder expectantly.

Until then, Elsa had always thought that interrogators had to actually _ask_ questions, but Anna was doing a fine job without speaking.

"I'm- I'm sorry," Elsa croaked.

Anna scoffed. "Sorry? You're _sorry_? Yeah, totally-" she was blinking rapidly now, her eyes glistening with tears- "let's just hide things from me until they blow up in our faces, until one- or _both_ of us gets hurt, then- then-" the girl wasn't quite yelling, but her voice was very aggressive- "then I can just say the magic word 'sorry' and it will all go away!" Anna threw her hands up in the air to punctuate herself.

"Anna, that's-" Elsa flinched- "that's not what I-"

"Then what!?" The red head took a step forward, leaning in to the conversation angrily. " _What_ did you expect, Elsa!? What did you _think_ would happen!?"

The elder slammed her eyes shut, biting her lip painfully, hot tears brining her eyes. "I- I don't know…" she said meekly.

"You don't know." Anna said it with disbelief, sighing in exasperation and placing her hands on her hips. She shook her head. "Elsa I- I don't even know where to begin-"

"I- I want to tell you the truth!" Elsa found that the words escaped prematurely, probably out of desperation to save her sorry tail from even more hurt. But it didn't work.

"To tell me the-" Anna actually _screamed-_ "well, it's too _fucking_ late for that, Elsa! I know you hit me with your powers- or curse- or _whatever_ you want to call it! It's not _that_ hard to figure out, I'm not some stupid kid! What I don't understand is _why_! _Why_ you kept it from me, _why_ you wouldn't just _tell_ me!"

"Wait," Elsa said softly, realization piling atop her shoulders like the world on Atlas's. "You're- you're not mad that I struck you?" There were so many things odd about saying that. So many things _wrong,_ and there was so much going on in that very moment.

Anna looked at her for a moment with complete and _utter_ disbelief, her mouth hanging wide open now. "Is that really _all_ you care about? Jesus, Elsa, I- I-" Anna looked genuinely hurt. "I can't believe you," she said coldly. "It's always 'me, me, me' with you, isn't it?"

That cut bone deep. "No, no, Anna you- you don't understand-"

"-Then by all means, _enlighten_ me." Anna spoke with distaste in her mouth.

"He said- dad said- that- that you'd-" Elsa clenched her teeth- "that you'd hate me if you found out, that you'd never forgive me." Tears tickled when they dripped down her cheeks.

"Of course he did," the anger was not gone from Anna's tone, but at least she wasn't yelling. "He lies. That's what he _does,_ Elsa, he tells lies." She took another step forward, jabbing a finger at her sister. "But that doesn't change anything," her voice was stone cold and focused now. "It's still always about you."

The older girl shut her eyes. "No, Anna, I, that's not true-"

" _Stop_ with the _lies_ , Elsa, _please!_ " Her voice was raising again.

"Don't you see, Anna?" Desperation leaked into the elder's voice like a parasite. "I was trying to protect you!"

"Protect me how!?" Anna roared. "How is that protecting me? How is hiding the truth protecting _me!?_ It's not, Elsa! It's not protecting me! It's protecting _yourself_! It's it's- it's _selfish!_ So please tell me again, _how_ is _hiding_ the truth from me supposed to _protect_ me!"

The hard part, the part that truly made Elsa feel sick to her stomach, was that Anna was _right._ "I didn't- I didn't want to risk our relationship," she admitted fearfully. _For that, or for everything I feel for you._ But what was to come? Elsa was biding her time before a checkmate. When things still didn't go back to normal, Anna will suspect something, won't she?

"Risk our relationship," Anna mumbled to herself, eyes darting back and forth across the floor. "What does that even mean!? How would an accident that happened _a decade_ ago risk our relationship!? That's _insane_! The only thing that _risks_ our relationship is you hiding from me and lying to me! _Christ,_ Elsa, how could you even _believe_ him-" Anna froze, her face expanding with realization. Elsa couldn't breathe. Anna looked at her sister, wide eyed. "There's more, isn't there? There's something else- something you're _still_ not telling me."

"Anna, no," the older began frantically, panic welling inside of her and blowing like steam out of her mouth. "No no, there's nothing else, that's- that's everything, I promise-"

"Don't do this to me again, Elsa, please!" There was that hurt again, but this time it wasn't just in Anna's voice, it shimmered in the tears on her eyes as well.

Elsa couldn't even bring herself to respond. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._ The icy wind was howling around her and inside as she hugged herself tightly. Was this really better than Anna knowing the full truth? Knowing the depths of Elsa's depravity? Would she be hurt more knowing? Or would she hurt more never understanding? Elsa choked on a lump in her throat. Maybe they could go back to the way they were before. "It's- it's nothing Anna-"

"No!" She roared. "It's clearly _something_ , something big! Otherwise, what would be the problem!?"

 _Don't you dare do it, don't you dare tell her._ Elsa fought viciously with herself, feeling like her love for Anna was tearing her in two directions at once, splitting her heart. "A-Anna, please g- go."

Anna just stomped forward, face now inches from her elder's, voice shrill. "Don't you dare, don't you _think_ about doing this again! Why? Why do you shut me out!?"

 _Don't do it, Don't do it, Don't do it!_

When met with nothing, Anna continued, screaming through her own tears. "Why do you _still_ not trust me!? After everything, I'm still here, so why!? Why are you still doing this to me!? Why are you still _afraid_ of me-"

Anna's words may have been cold and cutting, but her lips were warm. Salty with the residue of tears, tight with the clamping of her pained heart. The tip of Anna's button nose felt cold against Elsa's cheeks as the older girl mashed their faces together clumsily and aggressively.

She pushed hard, stepping forward, pushing Anna back, until they fell onto the bed. She spat all of her anger, frustration, fear, and _love_ into their interlocked lips, practically bruising her own in the process.

But she didn't care. So many emotions were crashing through the floodgates, and it felt _so good_ to let them all out, to drown someone else in them for the time being; to feel the burning heat of Anna's skin beneath her lips, to feel everything melt away, and the bitter winter inside of her give way to a boiling summer. She breathlessly panted into the kiss, greedily pouring out her emotions and drinking in new ones, the fire in her stomach flushing her whole body-

Wait, _what_!?

Elsa's eyes bolted open and she yanked away. She looked below her, Anna pinned to the bed, golf ball sized teal eyes staring back at her in absolute disbelief.

Elsa had just kissed Anna.

* * *

 _A/N: Uh oh...? ;) Next chapter ASAP, don't worry!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Elsa's eyes bolted open and she yanked away. She looked below her, Anna pinned to the bed, golf ball sized teal eyes staring back at her in absolute disbelief._

 _Elsa had just kissed Anna._

* * *

Before Elsa had a chance to move more than an inch, she was halted by a hand tightly grasping her upper-arm, keeping her in place. She looked back in abject horror.

"You," Anna panted, chest heaving heavily to and fro the bed. She was laying flat, not even looking at her elder, but rather head thrown back, eyes gazing beyond the ceiling. "Have no idea how long I've waited for you to do that."

The older girl didn't really know how to process this. So, she didn't really. She sat, a blank stare on her face, mouth hanging limp, and mind racing with inchoate thoughts. She didn't even notice how quiet the room had gotten, as her mind was being plenty loud. It was impossible. Anna was _with_ Karine, Anna was her _sister_. She couldn't- could she? Elsa had such feelings, so was it really impractical that Anna harbored such urges, too?

Yes, it was, and Elsa had made herself sure of that over the last few weeks. Reality wouldn't allow it. Period. She must have heard wrong, panicked and hallucinated it to subdue the stress, embarrassment, and regret for shoving herself, forcing herself upon her sister. She needed to- she had to- run, hide, scream, melt, freeze, ask "what?" Her voice was flat.

The younger girl furrowed her brow, still grabbing tightly to her sister's arm, like she was scared of Elsa trying to run again. She blinked a few times in disbelief. "To- for you to kiss me," she reminded.

Elsa was still having trouble. "I don't- I- We- You…" Was Anna messing with her? That was maybe the only scenario more ridiculous than what was currently happening. But Elsa was still left with a wide vein of cognitive dissonance in her mind. Her beliefs and reality _just couldn't_ reconcile with each other.

Anna rolled her eyes and sat up with a grin. Elsa tried to bolt at the new proximity, but once again, she was held in place. Her sister's freckled face was mere _inches_ from her own, and there was a mischievous glint in the younger's eyes. Here eyebrows bobbed up and down when she spoke. "I, Anna, have been waiting for you, Elsa, to do _this_." Her eyes were half lidded, and before Elsa knew it, fully closed.

Elsa's did the opposite. Wide in surprise they stayed as Anna ever so gently pressed their lips together. _Good God_ the warmth- no heat- that erupted from such a soft, silky contact. It felt- it felt- Elsa didn't really know how to describe it. It coursed through her whole body and really, completely overtook the ice. She wouldn't be able to freeze anything if she _tried._ Whatever it felt like, it left her yearning desperately for more, her whole body trembling and a needy whine snaking from her lips when Anna pulled away.

The younger girl smiled at her so warmly, so lovingly, like they hadn't just had the biggest argument of their lives. "Elsa, I love you so much." She said, gingerly placing a hand on her elder's cheek. When all Elsa did was lean in to the touch, Anna began to gently rub the pale cheek with her thumb. It felt _delightful_ , it made Elsa's skin crawl- in the best way.

She practically purred into the contact. Anna provided ample time for her sister to process everything that had just happened. And soon enough, though no words were spoken, they were on the same page.

"But," she started very softly, very gently. "You still lied to me."

 _And_ there the ice was again. Elsa went stiff, exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions she'd just been through.

As the room cooled, Anna's demeanor warmed, though. "Look, Elsa, I- I'm sorry I yelled at you, I really am, I just- I just want to understand." Anna dropped her hand from her sister's cheek, opting to lace their fingers together instead. "Please."

Interlaced fingers was great, but hand on cheek contact was better, Elsa mused. She screwed her eyes shut, lids hot with tears. She twitched. Running would be so easy, she could just shut herself in her room and hide and- and what? Sequester herself away forever? Destroy the very last chance she had with Anna? Her reflex to run dissolved when the tiniest bit of logic leaked into her fatigued mind. Anna had just- just _kissed_ her. All of her wildest dreams had just come to fruition, and it still felt like she'd stepped into a Dahli painting, melting clocks and all. But it'd still happened, so why would- or rather how could- Elsa throw that away.

A shallow breath came out of her. "I- Anna, I- we… Anna…"

"Take your time," Anna said, sitting up cross-legged. Elsa was pretty sure her sister knew they'd stumbled into a catty-corner.

Elsa took a deep breath, closing her eyes and compiling her thoughts. Like words on paper. That's how she had to make them. Salient, even though they were scattered. It took her a few minutes.

Shaky. That's how her next breath was.

Just a whisper at first, like the words were hiding. "When I- the accident happened- dad, well he- he was mad." Trying not to relive it once again, she felt a tear drip down her cheek. "H-he yelled at me- at lot, Anna. He um, he he-" Anna squeezed her hand reassuringly. "He said awful things to me." She was looking down at their hands now. "W-when-" she sobbed- "you're told something every day, when a- a l-little girl is told something every day, she believes it, no matter what." She sniffled and looked into Anna's eyes. Apparently, the Anna-Effect worked again, on more than just cold.

From the look brimming with love, patience, understanding, and backburner enmity, Elsa knew Anna was up to speed before she even had to finish her thought.

"He said you'd hate me- not just said, branded it into my mind and- and- that you'd never talk to me again if you found out what happened, and Anna he _made_ me believe it and I never should have and I didn't want to- but I did! no matter how hard I tried, Anna, I- I let him control me."

"You did _nothing_ wrong," Anna assured, pointing sharply at her elder. "That good for nothing, I mean, I can't _believe_ him! What kind of person- no, _monster,_ what kind of monster does that to a _child_? And for what? An Accident!? Because- because- because he's _afraid_! Because he's a big COWARD!" The red head was standing now, and Elsa's mind was spinning. "Oh why I otta-" she marched towards the door.

"Anna what're you-"

"I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind- I'm gonna-"

"N-no Anna p-please-"

She was reaching for the door.

"Anna!" Elsa shrieked, freezing the door shut in a instant.

Anna jumped, blinking her wide eyes, clearly taken aback. She looked at the amassed ice sealing her in, then to her elder (who's heart was pounding furiously).

"I'm sorry," she mumbled after several seconds, stepping towards the inviolable girl. "I just- I should've- It's just… so hard. I mean, I knew, I suspected something, but- but now I can _see_ what it- what he- did to you-" she gave a broad gesture to the room around.

Elsa wanted to reach out and touch her- to hold her, to comfort her but… but _it_ was prickling inside. "What's done is done," she stated, trying to smile. Though, if it was for her or Anna's benefit, she didn't know.

It was a significant amount of time before Anna spoke. "The past is in the past," she summarized, seeming to analyze every possible angle of the phrase as it eked from her lips. Her thoughts bulged into her eyes. "What's done is- oh, no no no no no," she pushed her cheeks forward, squishing her mouth. She kind of looked like a puffer fish. Had Elsa not been panicking too, now, she'd have laughed. "What am I gonna do? I can't go back and lie to Karine about this! What am I gonna tell her!? And you! Elsa! This isn't fair to you! Or her! Oh no, what- what am I-"

"Anna!"

"Elsa!"

"Don't- don't-" words got lodged hoarsely in her pale throat. She hadn't even said them and they tasted awful. Elsa momentarily allowed herself to wonder if just saying something could kill you. "Don't worry about me. Worry about- about you and- and Karine. I'll be…" her thought hung bare and shriveled.

"Oh, Elsa," Anna sighed, rushing up to gently hug. "I can't just _not_ worry about you, I- I love you. I love you and I've loved you- _Loved_ you for years. Elsa, I just-" Anna looked as lost as a puppy. "I have to tell her. That I… I cheated."

Where did that leave Elsa standing? She liked Karine, despite the pain of Anna being with someone else, she was a genuinely good person, albeit a little bit blunt at times. She cared about Anna, that was for sure, but what's more; she cared about Elsa, she wanted to be friends with Elsa, right? Otherwise, why would she have called? And she _knew_ Elsa, knew practically everything about her and still wanted to help, had kept her secret.

Elsa got her wish. Her astronomical wish upon a star. It'd come true.

But life wasn't just a wish. Now, as a direct result, Anna would have to hurt someone. Because of _Elsa._ Elsa kissed Anna. Elsa brought the feelings to light, confessed, and created this mess in the first place.

And now Anna had to pick up the pieces.

The elder clenched her jaw and swallowed. She couldn't do this for Anna, either. If she told Karine, then Anna would look like a coward and a liar.

It was just another lose-lose trap she walked right into.

* * *

 _A/N: This is getting kinda twisted :o Lucky for all of us, I'll be posting the first chapter of a more romantic comedy Elsanna story soon, so keep your eye out for that :)_

 _Also, fluff is near for this one, don't worry :D_


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